mellon cherry home coming.

i'm finally back!

from the late nights in the office up till 530 am,
to the asean summit itself.
i'm free, and tired.

and i somehow wanted to stay awhile longer,
because the thought of going back to nothing,
makes me feel like nothing.
its a different hurt in the bottom of my heart.

doesnt help that xmas is coming.
the warm and fuzzy cant help but overwhelm me,
followed by a hard fought battle of shrugging it away.
i hate disappointments that's borne upon hope.

on the other hand, i loved coming back to the empty shangri-la apartment.
its my kinda place. a quiet at the end of my day.
my time, with a nice bath and a cuppa tea.
spongebob makes me laugh.

and at this moment in time,
i can't have this wait out much longer.
i want to be in that craddle,
i know i've got so much more to give.

for now, i'll just look for travel company.
for my short beach getaway the coming week hopefully,
and for my around the world in 80 days cum end feb.
to get my mind and heart of things hopefully.

my letter to you II

dear you,

i feel each step your taking,
further and further into the rehlm in which i can't comprehend.
i'm slowly knowing less and less of you.
i can't paint your picture beside me anymore.

and i really feel, like i'm losing my best friend.
it looks as though, you're letting go.
and if its real, then i don't want to know.
don't tell me coz it hurts.

the mile i'm willing to run looks cloudier by the day,
the reason slowly fading away.
do you realise i'm still here?
or do i realise, that perhaps you're not mine?

i'm scared to dial the phone, afraid to fall asleep.
because with you, anticipation is all i have;
and it usually follows by disappointment, empty castles in my sky.
its the gratification i can't live without, only coz its you.

and as always, in my good times and bad,
i wish you were here.

love,
still me.

expectations

We all think we're going to be great

and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.

But sometimes our expectations sell us short.

Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected.

You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations,

because the expected is just what keeps us steady.

Standing. Still.

The expected's just the beginning,

the unexpected is what changes our lives.