Wednesday, May 31, 2006

can you feel my heart

hello to the red eyed zombie, me.
guess my eyes have really taken a toll on a whole body's immune system.
its giving me frequent migrains, not to mention short term attention span.
and its made fatigue my bestfriend.

on the way to school today i was rather ammused to something i saw.
in the train, there was a couple in front of me.
so the girl was leaning on the guy's shoulder right, nothing out of the ordinary
only thing was that the guy had his index and middle finger placed on her wrists,
and he constantly glanced at his watch.
was he actually counting her heartbeat?
hmmm.
maybe its the new way to express one's immense love for the other,
by checking to see if the other's heart beats twice as fast whenever with that person.
(ok that sounded messy)
and the guy just had a silk smile on his face, as if he enjoyed every beat of her heart as she gracefully leans onto him.
in some sadistic way, i think its rather romantic.
for the guy to savour every beat of his lover's heart and breathe.
it was almost like he could have lived in that moment, forever.
only thing was that i wished he'd hadn't pair his faded camo green pants with yellow chuck taylors. -_-"

so the boys are having a friendly with themselves later, or so i've heard.
might wanna go back to tp just to take a look see at how some of them play, esp the newbies.
or i might hit the gym with shimo, who's kindly invited me to join her and offered to bring for me gym gear since i've already left the house when she asked me along.
oh well.
i just so wish i could gorge out my eyes and sock them in pure refreshing water.
i havnt ate since my goreng pisang (which was yuck) yesterday evening, and i'm famished!
and i'm going going gone to eat. YES AH.

laters.

Monday, May 29, 2006

soduku

i've finally completed my soduku!
fun to say fun to do.
YESSSSS ah.
completed it during club spa resort lecture.
WEEEEEE.
i beat felix to it :)
it was the ultimate satisfaction of completing it.
though i don't think i can grab a copy of the today's newspaper tmr.
i dont know, will there still be paper at 830 at the station?
knowing people in singapore, i doubt so.
HO HUM. :(

2 projects due by the end of the week.
1 term test coming up
training's suspended.
2 weeks of holidays at my disposal.
why am i suddenly not looking forward to empty schedules.
i need something to fill my life.

28th may 2006

so what did i do today?

after waking up at 1, i went scavaging for food to no avail. :(
a freddie prince jr. was airing on channel 5.
boring but its fun to watch him act.
mum made soup for me, thick as usual. but very much appreciated.
and as expected, it came with nags. :/
flipping through the sony catelog reminds me on how i planned to buy a camera with my first pay,
which was centuries ago. argh.
3rd watch has become a ritual.
russ, kai and nic came over.
spy kids is kinda cool.
i creamed their ass at scrabble like how i did to bobby. HEH :)
russ being the ultimate loser. what did u expect, honestly
nicole from the pussy cat dolls is hotness, that abs. mmmmm.
did more fine tuning with coach marli abt the upcoming camp for the team.
very very looking forward to it.
later at night, the bitchy boys timo and felix had an online discussion to go through our project, dued tmr pls.
quite productive the 3 of us. i feel. : )
timo called me a bitchy bitch when i said bye bye bitchy boys to them.
but we know who's his bitch. HUR HUR :)
test tmr! ARGH i've not studied!
stumbled upon my old blog.
its nice to see how my life's taken a turn
though i hate that my poems don't flow like water as they use to,
i'm glad, that i've chosen at that low point in my life to bravely take the turn for an uncertain, better life.
it makes me realise that i do miss some people who've made my life.
and rejoice to some feelings i wish would never come back ever.
the priceless post is still "guys are dickheads" LOL.
i remember it like it was yesterday that i wrote it.
here's my livejournal should you want to relish in my past self.

i've got a new song on repeat on my player.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.
In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.
But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!
There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.
This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.
You know a relationship is not about getting your way.
And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

wiggle

havnt updated in ages.


poot.

oh well, just breeze things through.

felix's birthday on the 15th was swell.
we skipped classes to go on the luge which was oh so fantastically fun.
that clown got flinged off his vehicle, LOL
and his balls shrank on the chairlift

on the 17th, met trevor for dinner
we went to pauliners which was a whopping $95 bucks
the sausages were yum though, so was their won-brewed beer
after that met ajay, sajay,their elder bro arjun and their cousin and headed to devils.
adi joined too.
it was barcelona vs arsenal.
GO BARCELONA! (they won BTW)
yeah, amazing how the brothers just gulped their pints with 2 gulps.
:
me and trev left early.
skipped school the next day so just headed to the gym and training straight at tp.

the next day it was the 8am to 6 pm lesson at RITS
it was quite fun, role played as the captain.
and i had a bad tummy upset!
from eating the mussells fro the nasi padang stall at the artist village.
OMG. it just felt so weird, tummy was churning.
i was forcing myself to hold back from puking.
my burps smelt weird, right tim? LOL.
the bartending part of class was great.
but of corse only mr lee did the cocktailing.
we just did the drinking.
sembuca rocks.
weirdly, the alcohol made my tummy a wee bit better, temporarily.
and so the sick girl who was afriad to have a sudden need t puke on the train went home,
alone, and i hate hate hate it.
went home, straight away slept.
all the way till 9, ate, and slept again. WEE

saturday woke up at noon.
was informed last min abt a friendly with SRC.
in the end only shimo and myself represented TP.
heh. so we just socially played .
we felt like fishes out of the water. so veird.
anyway, washed up.
she went to meet her dearest, i went to meet zam, chun and wolsey on bus 23
which i had to wait for 5 buses to pass before the bus they were on came.
took like 40 mins to get to ccab, so we arrived late for the singapore vs SCC match.
the src people were there, from tp. HEH.
it was a good game.
and great drama with friendly fires from the team i was supporting.
HEH.
i didnt know arjun was playing.
after that us (charlotte, zaki, alan, javin, zam, gale, ifa, chun, ungku) went to bugis for macs.
mudy (?) joined us. and he made a fuss with me getting more chocolate fudge then him.
funny la.
left with alan to the NEL.
i was meeting arjun to MOS.
bumped into chris on the train, he said 'i recognise that walk anytime'
and then the insulting comlpiments kept coming, sorta like how adi shoots me.
silly chris, headed to gotham *yawn*
so met arjun, we headed to zuma for a beer, chatted.
waited for his friends to come
went in, met his gay friend remy.
i like him. because he said to me
"omg you're so sexy. too bad i don't go for girls."
LOL. i like gays. they make good bestfriends.
their so open and honest and funny and bitchy.
i like.
suddenly i miss haikel.
so smoove was packed, what's new.
i can't deny that some part of me was hoping to bump into rezal.
perhaps fortunately, i didn't?
in some weird way for the short span we knew each other,
he kinda left my heart in pieces.
possible? perhaps.
especially when someone gives you soooooo much hope that maybe its worth a shot, to just try.
and then i'd kick myself for thinking of stooping to accomodate to his needs.
and i'd gloat that i didn't.
and then the what ifs come in.
i miss sincerity.
nonetheless i had a great time.
after mos, arjun and myself sat at bungy bar,
while i fed mozzies and waited for midnight charges to go.
and oh my, i didnt realise how much cash it actually shaves off the fare.

monday more skipping of lectures.
i think im a sucky student.
i miss my once upon a time studious self.
sudoku, fun to say fun to do is higly addictive.
started with it since morning and i cant seem to figure it out.
went to tampines mall to get my formal skirt.
then to school for gym and table tennis.
i'm a champion from china man, WOO. (giggles)
training after that. did circuit.
was worked out, but i think i had somemore battery to burn.
i think i'm coming too hard on some of the new girls.
and my thoughts were confirmed.
i'm trying to work on it
i guess thats what happens when you're passionately involved with something in which you use as an outlet to vent stress.
from now on, i'll just shut up.
as much as i can't, i do that better then some people.
BTW techno's waterchestnut is the BOMB!

tuesday whole body, especially ass was aching.
and 5 hr back to back class was nothing to look forward to, so i skipped.
and i heard zhang wei took over one of our classes, thank god i didnt go.
only 5 out of 23 went. LOL.
went to the lipstick bandit for azlina's 26th b'day.
my indian name is sonia. nice to meed you.
i'm from culcutta.
had lots of silly fun, but thats how it is with them .
revidi, rutra, ganga, blama, poomba, shanti and the unpronouncibles. lol.
admist the fun, it was heartwarming to know,
these were spans of friendships from 8 to 10 years,
and how aduts are still kids. LOL
pictures and maybe videos soon.
after that went to azlina aka blama's house CARPARK to chill.
detour to shell petrol station, where we got icecream!! yeah!
and we "picked up" a few muts on fancy wheels for the birthday girl.
would i be nuts to say one of them quite handsome? LOL.
ganga had a mat for us to sit under the stars with the maintenance train.
we just talked alot of nonsense as we gulped the ice cream and chuckle along to barneyama.
funny how we chill at the open air carpark, when people chill in similar setups but at the beach.
after an hour, everyone was silenced by fatigue.
so it was home sweet home.

dad drove me to school.
leture cum test at 9, i arrived at 9.30. :)
champion.
lucky ms daga still let me take, though she considered shaving marks off my test.
but after she saw me doing it, i think she got the message that i really didnt cheat.
as in speak to people who had already took the test. so yeah.
sudmitted my loa. and i was free!
played my sims in the library before headed to tp.
OMG my beautifully sculptured sims created by yours truly has GROWN OLD!
fuck fuck fuck they are fucking ugly with their whites.
and things in places that they should be in.
BRIANNA USE TO BE FUCKING HOT!! now shes just wrinkly.
i dread growing old :
their clothing options are DISASTRIOUS.
i have half the mind of just killing them.
reached school, had my kway chap with tiffy.
met nash and headed to the sports complex with nash who was going to the gym.
i played my sims, and halfway i needed to pee! but who was going to watch my stuff.
shimona my love to the rescue!
BTW she bought me a sexay lovely zebra notebook!
after she knew that i have a fetish for animal prints.
SHES THE GREATEST.
but my urge to pee went away, so play on.
alan, zam and the rest came.
more table tennis action? LOL
i booked badminton instead.
omg alan make me run like mad. shagged. reaction slow.
we played 2 hands bandminton, POWER.
went for the awards rehearsla, which was a waste of time.
so we snuck out halfway.
joined the boys for their trainings. was fun.
played a game. i scored againts chun.
perhaps it was the feeling of not scoring for so long that felt goodm but only for awhile.
the mud was awesome.
javin's fallS was priceless.
paul foster is SUCH a GOOOD player.
who's paul foster? an evolved jon johnson.
makan at techno. more water chestnuts
before i bussed (yes bussed) home.

so it was the awards ceremony.
had a dilema of what to wear.
i was only lookin forward to the food.
and i kinda "fell" even before i got on stage.
my heel on caught on the step.
nothing new, and hopefully nothing noticible.
the award was ugly, budget to the max.
but the recipient for the cca gold award is damn power.
rather well deserved. impressive.
anyway the food was alright,
the whole thing ended much earlier then some of us thought.
so no change of clothes for your training steph.
just strut around the sidelines in slippers on the muddy feild and watch.
the newbies are really getting along good.
azzah is funny.
sometimes i wished i were my shadow.
its much slimer and taller then i am.
headed to techno, yet again for you know what.
the indian gang reunites and gets innoative inventing new games.
from 20cents magic coins, to acting bitchy and teaching sya to act bitchy.
lol.
ad drove me home, or rather ju did. LOL.
suddenly ad just said i dont feel like driving and let go of the wheel.
ju took over from the passengers seat. goodness, i knew i should have gone with dia. -_-"
yes i got home in one peice.

friday was ccn day.
but first had uniform fitting.
met tim who was surprisingly early.
the uniform is alright la.
im saying that ony coz we get to keep it after the event.
i was stumped on picking which sizes i prefer.
M fitted blazer, or L lose long blazer.
it didnt help that the television in the room was the mirror.
after that makan. met nurul and felix, and we walked the ccn aisles.
nonsense stuff they selling, all bo hua.
watched mag's jamming with the ruggers zaki charlotte alan zam angie
and sup dee yam who left earlier.
the rest of us went on to catch guppies! with paper nets.
it was like half an hour according to alan before our net tore.
29 fishes including 3 goldfishes.
kinda reminded me of when i went fishing with bobbear.
hung around in school till like 6+.
mum picked me.
bobbear came over at 7+.
he walking like an ah pek.
and he brought me "meds" heh .
someone owe me 2 hagen daaz and rambutans.
he bullied my fishes! and help me seperate the glamour ones who deserve VIP treatment ;)
after that i creamed him at scrabble! LOL .
and mini golf.
OH DONT CRY.
he went home, but he left his wallet here. smart bear.
smart LIMPING bear.
then he going to say i bitchy, but its his fault for not taking care of his leg.
sports illustrated swimsuit contestants just shows how superficial people are.
and dumb.
not eating a slice of cake would make you gain 5 pounds and make you unpretty.
sheesh.
5 hr desperate housewives marathon was the bomb.
a gigantic cockroach watched with me.
i tried to smash is with heavy magazines each time it ran out of the couch but to no avail.
and now i'm tired from going to bed at 4. :(

ccab later?
so much work to do. ARGH!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

blog

so i came to school and logged on to msn,
and i saw someone's nick.
i despise bloggers... /spit*
so i decided to probe.
(* confidentially identfied as HE)

Steph says: why say until like that.
HE says: hahai, don knw leh
Steph says: surely u got reason one la, what is it?
HE says: hahai u really wan to knw meh?
Steph says: ya, why not. though i think i know what ur going to say
HE says: oki, den tell me wat i am goint to say?
Steph says: bloggers are attention seeking
HE says: hmmm, now u said that maybe it is, haha. actually is not lah. juz that i realise bloggers gd story teller leh. so much fake, all not untrue lah. not all bloggers though
Steph says: good story teller meh? how would u know. maybe their lifestory is true? u know i realise that people would think of bloggers as being attention seeking, and showing off their life and how colourful is it or isnt. but they fail to realise that everyone is different, and so are their ways of expressing themselves.
HE says: nvr tot until there. but all i see in bloggers ah, they write n write but not all true leh
Steph says: coz i know someone who thinks of me being like that
HE says: -_- hu?
Steph -- says: i dont wanna say. its not as if the person/people knows my emotions and knows that im refering or talking abt/to certain people and my state of mind when i'm blogging
HE says: anyway is not easy to understand u. lol.
Steph -- says: i also know. i dont want people to understand thats why as much as i open up my life in my blog, i keep it closed with me writing general statements but only i know who and wht im refering to
HE says: ur blog all only happy one hehe. i read ur blog also happy
Steph -- says: no what. got some part i angry or emo mah
HE says: most of the time is happy moments which is gd
Steph -- says: ya la but i ususally only blog stupid or funny entries. more fun. u read my blog often ah?
HE spit says: yeah, everydya :0
Steph -- says: wah. see thats another thing, i dont know who reads my blog though i know thers quite a few avid readers.

so there it is.
i know ive been blogging different.
perhaps with a more concious mind that i don't know who's reading.
but what the hell.
i've laid out all the cards.
if you don't like it, don't come back.
nothing's going to change on my side.
i've lived quite enough on the silent side.
nonethess less i'm flattered that my friends or people would want to follow my life.
especially since i'd admit that i dont have the time nor take the effort to religiously update each one of them, as well as my blog can do.
and i don't need anyone to understand.
no one but myself.
take it or leave it. :)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

vin diesel is hot.

and so another week has gone.

school's been alright.
birthdays have been packin in.

i think my feet are small.

my feet in felix's slipper.


his in mine.


and compare.


anyway, tuesday i bought my sims2!! at loooooong last.
met sham and pat,
they are mad can, kept playing with that century square 'happy lifter' thing.
tsk tsk.
after that nurul came, pat left.
3 of us headed to genki for my longly awaited SUSHI!!!!
or rather sashimi!! :)

nurul dieing after her 7th plate!


steph still going stong! though the sashimi was a dissapointment


me and shamsie.

after that nurul left, and i went to buy my sims!! :)
then it was to home.
i was sooooo excited to open iti just ripped it open in the bus.
sham was soooooo embarassed due to the loudness of the scotchtape sound thing.
heh heh heh.
actually i also quite shy, but then i was excited.
he came over, borrowed some dvds.
stoned there while i installed my sims2.
and watched how it initially operated slowly and laughed at the audio.
pooot.
he left and i played a lil. creating my characters.
from a lil, it became 4am! LOL
i tried to construct my own house, that took alot. and i was going nowhere.
the furniture also not that nice.
i ended up buying a prebuild lot.
but at least my sims are gorgeous.
the guy is hot, the girl is hotter! hooo.

on wed, we alllll skipped the 1st few lectures. LOL.
so we only needed to be in school by 3.
was our wear formal day, and i was deck out in specs!
heh heh
met felix (who wore similarly coloured top and bottoms, which was funny)
felix and myself on the train.

the mafia in my specs.

we headed to harbour front for lunch with the late timo.
we had subway!
my first time. and oh my god i'm doofus at ordering.
but it was YUMMY! :)
after school went back to tp for rugby.
self train, and it was mad fun. lol.
haha falling twice in a row was the bomb.
and my oh so magnificent try.
here's how it went LOL.

it was already near the try line.
and shimo was coming for me, so i did a macdonald's pass to azlina
macdonald meaning overhead float.
and while throwing the ball i fell over the line, so i just sat there as i turned to see where my ball went to.
and shimo thought the ball was going to hit her head, so her kinda protected her head,
so she intercepted the ball with her hand,
resulting in the ball going into the air, and coming back down...
into steph's hands, after which she firmly planted in onto the ground for the try. LOL.
it was just freaking hilarious and dee had the front row ticket to the whole show. heh heh.

thursday woke up early for the make up service lecture.
it was a demo by some frech liqour company.
and i was just waiting the end where we could sample the liqour!
yeah yeah yeah.
the french man made for us some lychee concoction,
quite strong because there was no juices for him to mix.
the second mix of drinks was nasty, like chinese medicinal tasting thing.
few of us stayed behind to try sips of the liqour by its own.
it was all mainly fruit liqour.
not bad not bad.
and how often are you actually allowed to drink during school hours? wheeee.
zang wei's lecture is BOOOOORING.
happy birthday to chek wei lun!
to seah imm for lunch it was. great food at cheap prices.
nic, aimee and myself headed out as timo, felix and haha headed in.
they joined us there, and we talked about alot of stupidly funny stuff.
like how felix's mee sua is made of ice, and haha's gigantic mouth.
and how she can fit her fist in them :S

haha hahaing.


and her signature smile when she was younger.



back to school for marketting tutorial.
shawn tripp seems, unfun, but at the same time, unstrict.
so i'm unaffected. though i'd rather mr pras.
he's just cool like a cucumber.
to training it was, and i didnt bring my contact lenses, GREAT
so i trained in specs. which SUCKED.
after training headed home, bcoz i thought i was going ahead with clubbing as planned.
but it was cancelled due to rain.
ie got no complains, i had a long day.
and besides, i love the touch of rain.

friday was a long day of waiting for the confirmation of plans.
which resulted in last minute cancellation yet again.
quite upset.
bcoz the next day the girls had a game.
and i could have played.
well, i was slow in replying to be in the team of 10,
but when there was an opening for me to play,
i forfeited thinking that i already had plans,
and in the end when they had a replacement
the plan was also replaces,
thus steph was not able to play.
boo.
serves me right for not replying fast, and being unconfident in me playing.
i would have love to played so much.
going down to suporrt the girls was great too.
allowed me to see how acutually we played.
we've got sooo much we can learn.
but playing in mud, though difficult and dangerous,
is something i like. LOL.
it's just fun to slide in. heh heh.
none the less, i thought the girls did well, and clinched theri 3rd,
even though the pool was small, they were up against good competitions.
it was good seeing adi again, adam as well.
and i loooove watching the src people play.
one of their team's name cute la, it sounds like "my nuts pain" only spelt different.
jokers.
the rp girls couldnt stop staring at me, as i was told, i didnt realise though.
and i didnt anticipate it since its been a long while since the whole matter blew over
and i would think that as matured humans, apologies would be receprocated by leways of forgiveness,
especially if it was misunderstandings, and that foremostly, they don't know know me enough to conclude me to being a bitch.
sorry but if you judge me based on my blog which you keep coming back to read,
then it says alot about you, not me.
i'm long over it.

and i regret wearing slippers, lol.
i should have taken them out like sya did and walked around in the mud,
however icky it felt on bare skin.
after awhile it felt quite fun though hehe.
beats having a sucksion on my slipper which makes the mud splat all around. EW.
the games all ended around 6+. left turf city by 7 with nurul.
we headed to marina square to meet aidil, asrul and farhan(?)
had dinner, chilled out abit, then i headed to meet ad.
we went to aien's chalet.
i had a great time listening to her and ju telling me about the stories about the previous generations of tpiranhas over a few tigers.
awsome.
it explains how they're still tight as sardines after so long, and since they've gone through different paths of life, fom getting married to teaching and what not.
incredicle.
which makes me think if the current outcome of what we are now would still be the same.
we then joined the rest in the chalet,
who were talking about stuff that made me soooo shy. heh.
i wasnt so much paying attention to what they were saying,
but rather how they were sharing.
so much openess, it was just awesome to see how friendships truely should be.
i was sleepy, been out the whole day with 4hrs sleep. so ad drove ju and myself home.

btw, i just realise how sims are similar to real life,
in particular, the men.
on how they love their counterpart, having the 1 sim that 'means the world' to him.
but wanting to have a 'wohoo' with 3 diff sims, public even. PFFT.
moreso he feared getting married to her.
since its been one of his wants for the longest time, i tried it.
i gave him a ;woohoo' with the blonde french maid.
and my girl sim acutally caught him and they aruged,
and she broke off the engagement.
yet he wailed like a dog.
stupid dick.
just like how men can never settle down for one.
even though the girl is hotter then he is.
men just dont know what they want, till its gone.
so anyway they've reconciled, and a baby's on the way.
but he fears having a baby
and again. his want for a woohoo with 3 diff sims popped up.
WANK.
pffft. men.

anyway this was what me and my sisters got my mum,
a scarbble set.
since she's been nagging me to get back our's from rae.
oh well, to all mothers,





btw..


vin diesel is hot. *drools*

Sunday, May 07, 2006

confessions of a broken heart



why is it that these days, when i meet new people,
among the first things i'd ask about them,
is if they had a bf.
new found obsession with the misery of not having one?
or just a sadistic way of heart telling head that i might actually need one.
i'm losing myself deeper into, myself.
argh!

but the week's been great.
come to think of it, i love my class.
or more specifically, i love my group mates.
they don't care if i might have came to school with a heavy heart
they just seem to put everything in place,
with the stupidest things they do or say,
they makeit hard not to laugh like a school girl.
especially haha, though i never thought i'd find such a cheesy person. -_-"
who bought me a honeydew when i told her i wanted a wintermelon drink.
and timo with his "yes me lord" and "i like your thinking" comments,
but nothing beats his "hotdogs"
and felix with his frost tits.
and nicole for laughing at my stunts with my footware.
from heels, to shoes to slippers. you laugh the loudest.
and who ever knew printing notes for the semester would be mad fun.
from the over printing, to the paper cuts, to the stealing of printing paper.
you all made my day, with hunting down my goreng pisang stall :)
and its only the beginning.

thursday morning i didnt feel so well,
so i didnt go to school, and took mc instead,
which felix and timo calls a fake mc. PUI. HMMPF.
me and haha started taking mad pictures before training.
saying how some phillipino maids take photos like this when their on their day off.














stiff smile.
















vs normal nonsense smile.

actually had one more picture, but its too damn ugly with our stiff pose and face. heh
the touch clinic with the newbies were alright.
it was good to meet new enthusiasts, and weird to think i was once, them.
but it was definately a much bigger crowd.
new faces, fresh personalities.
i'm looking forward to what will develope in subsequent trainings.
oh, i won't be playing SMU touch next week.
out of places, they've already got 10. ho hum.
ya la, my fault for being wishy washy to weather or not i reallly want to play.
another time then.

friday was the longest school day ever,
to top it off, it ended earlier then expected. gawd.
weeks to come would see looooonger more shaggadalic lessons.
service skills.
woke up at 530. OH MAN.
didn't help that my cinderalle eyes became red again at noon.
but it hurt like a bitch, worse then ever before.
luckily sarah was there to rescue me.
she passes me her saline solution halfway during class. THANKS THANKS THANKS LOTS!
though it still stang alot, it made it slightly bearable.
class ended at around 4+,
took the bus with nicole to bedok,
i headed to safra changi chalet for nina sky's 18th birthday!!!
yay!
OMFG she lost so much effking weight!!!!
i didnt even know she went to my place the day before to borrow clubbing wear. LOL.
paiseh.
and i met sham, her new bf!
gawd i'm so happy for her.
he's a great guy, i have a good feeling about this one.
and i've never seen her this smiley and alive since a long time.
i'm awfully glad.
had food, kesh the mr bartender for the night kept the vodka ribena coming.
(yes ms sick with red eyes who looked smashed even before she took a sip, drank)
played the game that we played the last time timo, eugene, felic blah blah went drinking.
madness.
after awhile my eyes gave me a headache with the quinting to make it feel comfy.
i went up to rest. and woke up in time for nina to call me a cab.
however short lived my time there with my nina sky,
it was great seeing her, all slim now, and happy.
which makes me happy too.
i've got so much i wanna catch up with her on,
only if and when time will allow.

saturday i was home the whole day.
no plans, no one with.
dvds are my best friend.
scary movie 4 is DUMB. but funny.
i could have gotten 2 tubs of hagen daaz, but nooOOOooo.

its now a lazy sunday, and i have another best friend, the tv.
from noon to 4pm, non-stop dvd popping and tv watching.
boo.
at least these home stays makes me feel better, health wise.
and my eyes have cleared up!
maybe later, i'll go out to buy myself my much awaited sims2 cd,
since my pay came in.
hopefully ill get use to sentosa schooling,
and then i came go back to working on the side.
yeah.


and is it me, or is the new trend for mummy to talk to steph is by nagging,
and you wonder why sometimes i dont want to be home?
i hear myself in my head wishing silently that you could talk to me
instead of pushing me away with every biting word you say.
to at least put me at the same level as my sisters.
this is my part 2 of my confessions of a broken heart.

Monday, May 01, 2006

the past week

week 1 of year 2 @ tourism academy at sentosa.

monday
was at harbour front by 930.
first lecture at sentosa.
my, the campus is really scenic.
i can see myself in the near future having tanning sessions, picnics or even beach touch games during my breaks.
though it really is just the same school procedures and all.
at least its something different to look forward to in coming to school
though i still dread the hour+++ long journey every monring. :/
plus, friday lessons starts at 8am ah!!
anways, only on my first day, and i had my first boo boo already.
after the lecture, i threw the empty sweet box into the bin in front of me, and i missed.
so i lazily walked to pick it up to dispose of it properly.
and even before i can bend to pick it up,
BONK!!
ouch says my head.
better still i was sitting in the first row,
so i turned around to the lecture hall of students who gasped loudly,
only to see felix grabbing his tummy and giggling histerically.
THANKS.
after that we went to the canteen.
haha had noodles, and she was so amazed that it only costs 50cents.
i had rice with fish and cabbage, and onions.
it was suppose to be sotong, but i swear in that one tin of sotong, they only used one,
and the rest were onions. how YUM. *rolls eyes*
then it was exploring the school.
before that we wanted to use the washroom. but we didnt know the code!!!
so felix went to ask the china students.
in the toilet i bumped into a few 03ers, and they asked about me hitting my head.
pffft.
at least there was a hint of concern admists the mockery.
after that we walked round, and i saved timo from the worst evil of all!!!
a WORM THAT WAS DANGLING FROM A TREE!!!! eww.
but haha is one character, who picked it up from its string of sliva it dangled from.
gross bravery.
then she told us the tragic story of her first pet ant, whom we named peter.
anyways, we went to the library to blow air-con and chill.
felix tried to read the malay cook book, while i translated it ;)
i'm quite a good translated considering i only made mad guesses.
and DID YOU KNOW, cheena is spelt cina? LOL.
so next time you scold people CHEEBAI must say CIBAI. LOL.
played bluff, felix was OWNED by steph ;)
then it was to round 2 of lectures.
mr ram is cool. and funny.
after school me and haha took the train to boon keng and the bus to sch.
our recruitment.
within that short time i was helping out, surprisingly i could grab some people.
after that we had self training. more like playing games.
BUT before that. woo hoo! had a lovely time with the lovelies.
splish splashing each other with the water puddles on the ground.
kicking and kicking, almost like we could form our own soccer team.
jumping into puddles, running around like kids.
tiring ourselves out even before we started any game.
with slight lightning we retired to the ITAS canteen where marli, ju and ad were.
it was warmer inside so me and nurul stayed outside and we had the brightest idea to play, CHARADES!!!! LOL!
uberly hilarious.
they could see us through the glass panels but couldnt hear us,
(yet me and nurul covered our mouths as we spoke to each other. -_-")
after that we proceeded to play games at the astro turf.
quite shagged.
after training went to tm with some of them to have long john's silver.
my hero haha then overturned a big dustbin.
don't be fooled by her size, her bones are quite strong ok.
and her bravery stronger. she not paiseh, we all running away feelings damn paiseh.
but i still lurve u. ;)
took the long windy road home alone on bus 38, poot.

tuesday
skipping of lecture for haha, timo and felix!
to tp for recruitment.
reached there, had fish and chips with sya, gale and ifa at jupiter. couldnt finish.
to think i still had room for KWAY CHAP!!!! :)
yum.
i just stuck with the arguement that how often do i get to come back to tp to eat it right.
after kway chap we walked to ITAS for ifa's mushroom chicken horfun.
on the way i actually walked into a big branch which ate a chunk of flesh from my big toes.
clumsy bum.
more recruiting. and played monkey on the grass patch
well until alan kicked the ball onto the top latch.
didnt help that it started to pour. so that took awhile to get the call down.
went to town with sup, az, miao, charlotte, zaki, farij, dee via 518 to get some stuffs.
and i think i'm hooked onto x-box.
the adidas store in heeren and the soccer on its x-box is love.
though i lost to zaki, twice. it was a consulation that i'm a first timer on the x-box,
and it was a damn close game that came down to panelty shoot outs.
took the train back to the east with dee.

wednesday
waste of time getting to school!
went to school. plan was to meet at 830 but guess who was late, haha. POOT.
went for service leture with timo only to find out that it was cancelled.
so i went with timo to the beach!!
it was a long walk, but the beach was exclusive, and awefully pretty.
we picked flowers, but it had no stalk so i couldnt put it in my hair.
we joked about 7-11 plucking them so they can sell it. so they can "stalk take"
heh. timo and the lame-o.
walked back, only in time for the damn fire drill.
ARGH!
i knew i shouldnt have came today.
so hot, and itchy the soccer feild where we had to assemble.
after that we chilled in the library, though i wanted to just go to tp.
felix, timo, haha, clarise were wishy washy.
left at 11, to zap the accounts notes from the lecture we missed,
then to harbour front for food at yoshinoya.
clarise bit a long bean and it splurted across past timo LOL!!
and is it me, or is it wierd looking at yourself eat through a mirror? hmmm.
timo felix and myself to tp next.
at the recruitment, i didnt recruit as many.
relaxed. and played floorball!!! its fun, and addictive.
played around with the magic stick, (heh)
before they had a 2-on-2 game. me with zaki.
every victory we have to hit our sticks together and bang chests, but for me, its ass. LOL.
after that i waited for tiffy's lecture to end then mummy sent us home.
went home and laid down, and i dozed off!! oh my,
woke up only 2 hrs later, in the same position i was in.
geesh.
had a quick bite, watched a lil tv, and slept back. hee.

thursday
woke up and i felt oozy.
even after my shower i still felt, unwell.
so i told haha i wasnt going to school.
but i was quite awake to go back to sleep
so i watched the hills have eyes dvd.
quite stupid la.
then i napped.
woke up, felt loads better.
bored before that.
headed to school to meet nurul and dee at 5.
nurul was making the card, i and dee wrapped marli's present.
then we had training, only that we were playing games.
then we were gonna discuss about next week's touch clinic.
i had good games.
the first try i had i was quite pleased with myself, in that i had 2 men on,
and i "ran faster abit" and i could try. haha fed me the ball nicely also.
second try/no try was when i squeezed through dee while punching up.
then marli stress me, LOL. ok la, nurul chase me also i stress.
"MAN ON MAN ON! DDDDIIIIVVVVEEE!!!!"
ah, ok. but my legs decide slower then my mind, so i sorta stumbled dive.
anyways that would be the most common sensical thing to do when u dont run as fast as your chaser.
so down i went. in pain i might add.
"aha! not yet reach the line"
that was all nurl could do.
and i couldnt tell if it was my boob that was hurting, or my chest within.
but it knocked the wind outta me.
heart pain also.
nvm. rested by the side.
i can feel my stamina go uphill and downhill throughout the game.
and then my thrid attempt. i side stepped ju! hee.
for so long of not playing as well as i'd like, this was certainly a moral booster.
though i know theres so much more i need to work on.
and i must say, that i have ifa to thank lots for.
she did make me realise that my punch up wasnt as effective,
coz i dont give myself space to pick up pace.
so i made a concious effort to correct this. and tadeh!
and yes, more confidence.
thanks lots captain. esp for believing in me prob more then i do in myself.
after training, we took quite awhile to settle in the complex,
and we all are SUCH wonderful actresses.
some of them left to get cakes while they faked a face where they neded to shit urgently.
and we snuck marli's card while she turned her back so she wouldnt see.
and we distracted her as we brought in the lit cake.
sang happy birthday in english, chinese and indon. (i swear its tradition, HEH)
she blew the candles, and we gracefully took the cake away to cut it,
while we ammo-ed up, with WHIPPED CREAM!! :)
we could have made a cake out of marli even! LOL.
the card was cute, the presents were loved, the coach was dirty and smelly, the cake was yummy, the feeling was love.
and yes, we got down to discussions.
next thursday is all set, and we all went to shower.
mummy came to pick me and felix.
walked him to my house busstop to take 12,
and i got myself an ice cream! yum.
came home nd slept immediately, preparing for the 8am class :/

friday
took the bus to feix's busstop where his dad was going to give us a lift from.
the bus made me late, i never felt this much guilt for being late.
he drove us all the way in, thanks mr qui!
class was draggy. but i like amy daga.
and whoever said must wear until so formal ought to be shot.
we made our way to expo after lecture for the FHA.
weeeee.
times are wasting, food's awaiting.
lots and lots to try. from eating to drinking.
i was still very much hungry, but full from the mixture of everything.
we had less then 4 hours to comb the 6 halls of exhibits,
though we only stayed at 1 -, coz that's where all the eatables are :)
felix ate from every stall i swear. lol
the best tasting i thought was some japanese thing that was on a biskit.
i didnt even know what it was but it was AWEFULLY SCRUMPTIOUS!
and the funniest thing was this man grabbed my hand and shoved like a carton of tictacs at me.
OH MY GOD. what was i suppose to do with all of them?!?!
so i just gave em out to peoople in my vacinity.
smart man, use visitors to do his distributing job. HEH. but thanks mister.
stayed till closing, and we chilled outside the halls and chatted.
felix played me out, made me walk all the way to the mrt station when he was going to town,
and i home. so back to the bustop i slowly woddled.
don't play a fool with tired legs after 4 hours of walking through crowds.
then it was to home sweet home.

saturday
met azlina and dee on the train as we made our way to turf city to catch the finals of the summer league.
drizzled abit upon our arrival.
ifa and vie were already there. haha came halfway.
missed marli's game.
watched the RP girls play, and my, they really improved much.
and their stamina was commandable.
almost made beating the ang mo team look effortless.
it was nice to watch another team play,
fresh to see different objectives and stretegies they adopt.
though i'd say i was dissapointed at the men's game.
i thought they were much better, or that they didnt play their best game .
though the mixed team did put up a good fight against a very strong team.
but the match of the day went to the one played by src men's.
LOL.
ok, maybe just the last what, 10 mins of it?
the boys actually changed into sexay nighties (black, red and pink ones)
and alan into a bikini with bunny ears,
hadi with arm floats. all to commerate dear marli's bday! LOL>
happy 19th birthday ah (pffft)
after that vie, haha, az and i walked out, and then made a run for it at the bus that was leaving.
az and myself took bus 31 home, the other 2 to town i thin.
the bus ride was longer then expected. was quite tired, didnt talk much.
azlina must think i'm weird :S
she left then myself 2 stops after to change bus.
went home, napped abit. planned abit screwed up so i got ready quite last min.
the theme was all white, and the only problem throbbing on my mind is that i won't have the right undies!! LOL.
took me a long while to decide between 2 white tops. changed between both for like forever.
then i just stuffed myself into the white tube, and then again it took me a long while to decide if i feel comfy in it. and what the heck, too late already la.
i was really all white, from the flower in my hair to my earings to my tube, skirt, shoes and bag.
met nurul late at town. cabbed there.
its just embarassing to go into a coughing fit.
esp when the driver was asking where you want to go *blush*
met nurl then trained to clarke quay to join ad and ju at bungy for drinks.
trev joined us when he knocked off.
had my longly awaited frozen lime margerita.
and feroz gave me a free bourbon coke.
had a csc shot, lovely.
and i gave back what mali gave me on my bday. lol.
4 shots, though csc is quite mild and is absolutly yum.
she was a awefully great sport for downing all of them.
and then, TO THE ATTICA!!
it was fun!
even though there wern't alot of hotties or what not. and i wasnt even high.
but i guess it was just the overwhelming turnout of marli's guests.
its nice to club with people u know, let alone so many of em.
even though, THEY WERE NOT IN ALL WHITE!!
even marli wasnt, but she's the birthday girl, and only her shoes were un-white.
hmmpf. never mind. i felt like i was going to a wedding. LOL. not mine at least.
i'm just gonna be an old spinster with lots of cats and kids wil run at the sight of me.
surprisingly i bumped into tarte there. quite shock.
and chris too.
and i remember sheema grabbing my ass occasionally.
and i told one of the girls not to smoke as they lit up.
heh. and i love dancing with nurul hons.
and adam.
and ju, and marli, and azlina and watching ad dance. :)
simply simple fun.
and an OLD OLD OLD indian guy tried to pick me up ah! ew.
had the last dance with chris, i cant stand your long hair!!
club clossed. chilled outside. talked to tarte.
sya drove marli, sheema, siti k, eda and myself. thanks!
by the time she dropped marli and eda off, i closed my eyes to rest em,
only to open them to see my gate. HEH!
i said bye to sheema and sya, and siti k, who wasnt there and i didnt even realise. LOL.
its hard falling asleep.

Sunday
so felix called at 7.
and i had to meet him at 745 at simei.
those who only know well enough, would know that i was late. heh heh
so we headed to town to meet timo, eugene and pan.
then we were joined by sam and celest.
if u think girls are indecisive, you just ahvnt met these boys. LOL.
in the end we headed towards city hall to esplanade, to sit and drink.
bumped into a few of the 03ers in marina square,
they were headed to celebrate terry and sarah's bday at dxo.
(yes happy birthday!! (: )
we on the other hand just sat by some place outside marina square and drank.
we played a game that the boys taught us,
each card meant something, yeah
we played it, and timo said we should try to get felix drunk.
my answer? simple.
"don't have to try." :)
true enough.
drinks were running low, so pan, eugene and myself went to 7-11 to buy,
at the same time i went to pass tiffy my id.
barely even 3 mins of me holding the barcardi bottle they bought,
PSHIANG!!!!!
it fell out of the plastic bag and shattered into smitherines, not a drop left!
OH MY OH MY!!
i was sooooooo upset with myself.
straight away eugene and pan u-turned back to 7-11 to buy
while i just whimpered over the wasted alcohol.
yes i still feel miserable, and guilty.
but the guys were great, they didnt allowed me to feel guilty.
and they emphesized, why should i when its timo's money. LOL.
went back to where the rest were, the girls had left.
i confessed to timo, he just giggled it away, he didnt believe me at first.
felix ws still red.
pan too, but for a different reason.
sarah, terry, audrey joined us.
funny moment of the day was when timo pushed the bench a lil, and felix and pan flew as it fell.
LOL. freaking funny ass piece of shit. LOL!!!!!!!
felix laughed his balls off, couldnt see his eyes, swear.
we finshed the barcardi fast, with 3 new players.
soon sarah left.
and we played a daring game, that i'm not allow to disclose details of,
due to the sportsmanship of all players and the sworn secrecy of all of us.
we tried playing touch rugby with the empty bottles.
more breakage for the night. LOL.
eugene tried climbing the tree, and doing a front flip.
and he's an ass, he told me he was playing at turf city and he saw me, but he didnt say hi. pfft.
timo, felix, terry and i formed our own choir.
"in the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight." "oh darlin, darlin stand, by me."
we all then headed to dxo for music!
the dancefloor was ours.
we did syncronised dancing, eugene taught me a move for "dont'cha" and we did the 'timo dance'
then the whole euphoria was gone.
shit music started.
one more glass of drink.
then we got comfy around the pool table. shot some pool.
terry barely lost to felix .
felix tyco-ly won me.
then felix and myelf vamosed to meet his bro in the cab,
and to home it was,
to yet another sleepless night.