itskillingme

and the worst part is.
i have so much more to offer,
i know it, and feel it.
i just wished better opportunities presented themselves.
and that people had more faith in me.
its so hard being half the person you know you are,
or can be.

and it kills me, everyday.
slowly.

sugar,we'regoingdown

tear my heart open, i sew myself shut.
i dont know how to deal with disappointment,
especially from people you call 'friends'.
everybody's changing and i dont feel the same.
i dont know how to make sense of anything anymore.
utter mindphuck.
no front no back, no head no tail.
no beginning and no end.
its a whirlwind, churning for awhile.
turned hurricane spiralling out of control.
leaving everything a mess.

leaving steph a mess.
how do you tell if your on the path of total destruction?
how do you find your way back to who you are,
or use to be; how things were.
will they still be there the same way you left it?
and where do you start picking up the pieces on your path of recovery.

how do you find yourself after you've gone way off track.
which way is forward?

do you follow a spinning mind or listen to an uncertain empty heart?

manup

its amazing how sometimes, you expect things
without even putting in much yourself.
its like wanting to travel the world,
without paying for your tickets.
and its not me.