crappy scrappy weekend

and the best thing about the weekend,
was the sun.

i can't stand the sound of silence.

after a whole week of mad working since 7am in the morning,
i'd think i'd be thankful for the weekend.
esp with the scc 7s as well.
but no.
my weekend was quite shitty.

other then my moments with shimona at haji lane
and sharing a banana spilt with her after saturday's rugby.
and aruging with hadi in the car bacause he wouldnt stop making me feel worse.
to the mexican lunch for rachel's 20th
and laughing at silly rugby players making the most of the 1hr rain.

i somehow wished things were different,
though i know there's nothing i can change.
or maybe i can change me,
coz i think there's something wrong.
things don't always look up for me,
they dont go in my favour.

and i think i deserve better then this,
at least whatever i'm being dealt now;
the way i'm treated by you -
that of which i'll never come to understand.

at least try to see how i'm coping in such a circumstance,
and get to know the person you'd never come to see.
because i'm better then that.

its not like i havn't, tried and tried.
i've been keeping clear, of stepping on the cracks.
missed just enough to keep me coming back.
oh i've waited for better angels

better late then not at all.
better to make the break, then to take the fall
i wouldnt mind hanging on,
if i could find out what i'm hanging from.

still hoping better angels come to me,
it's a woman's worth.