january 2009

growing up in a place you're whole life,
you get bored of it after awhile.
everythings slowly changing, like ants scrambling even quicker.
slowly, home seems migratory.


so i went back to perth a month early.
spent more time being independant,
more time with people whom i dont usually do.
who'd ever thought going to the beach alone on a nice summer day was an escape.
ipod with good shuffles, cosmo, sun and sand.


got to spend my 21st undrunk as i wanted.
with friends, and family.
ive never felt so blessed.
even without a birthday cake and candle for a wish.
i think i cheated last year with two.

but i was content. i was free.
lone trips to the mall, to the grocers, to the beach.
dancing like no ones watching.
and that was my january.

i wear my heart on my sleeve and hide behind a smile.
and it felt darn good.
but there'll always be that missing piece, i cant figure what.
or its exact emotion or trigger.
i feel less then the best of me.
i think its called, a secret yearning.

but for now, i'll just twirl in the moment.
and leave bull wrestlings for tomorrows.