suddenly

suddenly, i feel like i'm in a mess
(no i'm not talking about my hair)
the whole day of research of pretty much, nothing
in preparation for monday's presentation
is just a fine reflection to how my mood's suddenly fell sullen to.
aimlessness.

maybe it took me this long to realise that i may have been wrong
about you.
and to admit, i've been trying to convience myself all along.
i just think its time someone genuinely cared,
for how i am doing.
maybe you could try showing you do,
as much as i do for you.
just try.

there's only so much i can take,
so long that i can wait for that unassured return
for a promise to come through.
somehow i feel i'm in this reality of a fantasy,
the one i dreamt to life
and you're not onboard.

so here's another case of dissappointment,
the case of just words to pacify the moment;
the case of the drastic end to indulgence of that one perfect moment.
the case of the chapter, now written in the history.
i thought you'd be different.

so surprise!
i proved myself wrong,
yet again.
and suddenly,
i feel like i don't know you.
that i can't remember if it was the same you,
i knew once upon a time.


suddenly, for yet another time,
i give up.