fly away from here

to think i've not have enough setbacks.
i just got another one, right from the heart of home.

i got news my dog passed on.
my dear dino, friend and loyal companion of 12 years
left us in his sleep last night.

i know i may not been the best to him,
but i guess only he knows how much i really love him.
and our random walks out at nights.
and i'm sure he took the mickey out of me at times when i came hom drunk
and sat with him on the porch because i was locked out.

i remember how he was soooo small when we first got him,
that he could fit into the square of the gate.
i was 8 back then.
and each time he does, squirmy like a black torpedo with a fat belly
he got so happy he was literally just bouncing and just not passed the first step of steps in the house.

taking him to the beach was fun, gosh he grew so fast.
hated it when he teethed.
and that he ripped my favourite shirt once when he excitedly pounced on me.
and very much sooner, he became HUGE.
only his stout fit through the gate now.

and very much soon, he became, just the watch dog.
sadly.
and i guess he felt that too.
i'm sorry boy.
i'm sorry that our last walk was so long ago,
and that i didn't get to say goodbye.

somehow i felt that he waited out.
so why havnt i been home the past month.
another sign to tell me, it just wasnt my time to come and be here.
and i'm crying like a baby.
he was still alright when i left and hugged him before i left the airport.
and ive had news from my sister how his legs wernt holding up.

did you wait for me?
wait for me to return?
or to come back drunk again just one more time?
or to open the gate out too wide so you could run out and watch me chase after you?
wait for me to throw the ball and fetch it myself?
wait for that last walk?
did you hear my prayers for you?

and its funny, how i was on the phone with harry last night
and talking about you right then.
thinking back, pretty much 10pm when you had left us in your sleep.
about how you use to be tiny, and then not.
about how i use to be tiny too, and then not.
and that dream, that dreadful dream that i had.
you with those sad eyes.
and that has now inevitably come true.
but in the dream, i got to hug you babe.

and i'm so sorry again.
its like i heard you speak to me in the dream.
and there's nothing else i can say or do,
but i'm so sorry.
i hope you know all my heart says and feels for you.

and you'll always be in my heart.
you smelly black cow.

i love you boy,
and you're the one that i will always miss.
i will see you someday soon enough.
wait, and don't forget me love.
and this time, it'll be forever.

RIP dear Dino.
1996 - 2008