home

''its good to see everyone so happy''
as they sang the song 'home' by micheal bubble,
everyone seem to beam in slow motion,
exuberant with smiles and laughter,
the light in their eyes,
just on extascy of life's finest moments of the warmth of love;
but yet a feel a heavy storm brewing in the pit of my heart.
tonight, i just want to cry.
i maybe surrounded by a million people
but i still feel all alone.
i want to go home,
where i can picture you, right there next to me.

the pouring rain masked my emotions
as i sat in the cold taxi
intoxicated by the smell of rain, yearning for warmth
eager for the next message to come in.
its nothing we both can do.
and i know why you just can''t come along with me,
its not your dream,
but you'll always believe in me

i miss you

and i've been keeping all the messages,
each one line or two
"i'm fine baby, how are you?"
i would send them, but i know its not enough
my words are just cold and flat,
and you deserve more then that.

i'm just too far, from where you are
i wanna come home.

wo shi steph!

i'm not usually one to paste convos,
but this was just too hilarious.
i giggled myself silly!
i changed his nick because it was his email address, so.


Steph says: wo kang kang blog
Steph says: LOL
David says: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
Steph says: sounds wrong la. but i mean i just blogged
David says: yeah i noe
Steph says: anyway, you want to sleep already
Steph says: right?
Steph says: dui bu dui? (right or right?)
David says: wha how u noeeee
Steph says: wo chong ming (i clever)
Steph says: ni ben dan (you stupid)
David says: (at the same time) ni ben dan!
Steph says: LOL!!
David says: HAHHA
Steph says: ni copy wo! (you copy me)
David says: (again, same time) ni chao wo (you copy me!)
Steph says: LOL!
David says: HAHAHA
Steph says: stop it
Steph says: ni chao chao (you smelly smelly)
David says: hey stop copying me!!!
Steph says: i type first
David says: ni hen hen ben (you very very stupid)
Steph says: ni chao ji ben! (you super stupid)
Steph says: wo bu si ben (i'm not ben)
Steph says: wo si steph (i'm steph)



sometimes i'm just such an idiot.
plus, my understanding arts teacher said today,
that artistic/creative/expressive in art people are usually mental cases.
with most of them ending up sucidal (think van gogh)
i know, you don't find it funny.
but i do, as and when it happened.
and if this is what it takes to make the girl,
who thought she forgot to bring her panties,
but actually finds out she had a pair when she emptied her bag at home
happy and rolling in an abs workout.
then why not.


ying wei wo shi steph. (because i am steph)

again, happy birthday marli! birthday bunny!

hot and slimy

i found this on youtube.
i'm facinated by animals.
documentay whore since young
and one day, i'm making me own.

chow kwok-hun david brian says its "hot and slimy"
tsk. what a david.

speaking of hot and slimy.
someone got slimy after training.
SUPER COACHE'S BIRTHDAY!
got the cake at noon with shimo, and other stuffs
after training before debrief we dissappeared to get the cake
and light the _ _ small candles.
we had to go ONE round coz of the position she was facing while talking to the girls.
1,2,3 HAPPY BIRDDAY TO YEWWW.
then then take picture,
and on the not formal shot,

IT WAS SABO TIME!

splish splash of water, and throwing of flour.


shake it off,
WOO!
only poor thing, her contact lense kena, yikes.
big hugs to liting and the camera woman marian from marli after.
none for me, phew! :)

dandraff? use head and shoulders!
leftover cake went onto her face!
and oopsi-ly, into her eye, again! sorry, heh.

the aftermath
shimo and myself tried to rid the track of its whiteness but failed quite, badly? (oopsy again)

yes, happy birthday.

flower and flour. heh.

can't wait to party this saturday marli? :)

after that i went to shower,
i didn't plan too, but seeing how the field was muddy and wet,
i got very dirty and muddy,
so showerrrr.
AND, i didnt bring panties.
great i wore a skirt.
so, there was only 2 possible outcomes of that.

i'd leave you to think which outcome it was. *wide grin*
AND, which parts apply to 'hot and slimy'

the ocean

am i alone in this?
never a night where i can sleep myself till day
we must try to figure it out
it won't be that easy

you come over unannounced
silence broken by your voice in the dark
i need you here tonight
just like the ocean needs the waves

the night becomes the space thats somewhere inbetween
what i feel and what i'm taught
sitting on the shoreline, trying to figure it out
to find out the meaning and reach it somehow

the season has changed,
the wind moves colder now.
the clouds are raised,
the rain falls harder now,
all around.

the warmth comfort of the bubblewrap i feel
from your lingering scent on my pillow
like kisses at the back of my head,
everything reminds me of you.

this is your song.
and its my way of getting over you,
the only way i can move on,
and forget you.
but never that one day.

silence

if all, only for but a day.

all good things come to an end,

and people always leave.

silence.

another day is too far away.

you had me at goodbye.

cupid's chokehold

first day of school,
and i didn't go! :)
as expected.
it threatened to pour the whole day,
but so far its just a facade of thunder crashing,
and dark clouds,
with no rain.
a messed up interpritation to craziness in my heart.
i hate saying goodbye when it comes to you,
especially since hellos are so unpredictable.
i need to know my worth.
oh how i miss the smell of rain.


i'm in cupid's chokehold,
to the man up there:
dont suddenly shower my life with perfection,
only to take it away the next very day.
make it stay, if only for another day.

last week before school.

the last week before school starts can never get any better then this.

naomi, rachel, timo, felix and myself just came back from out bintan escapade.
it was goooooooooooood.
from sunday afternoon to wednesday afternoon.
the place is lovely. the company is awesome.
the beach is breathetaking (litterally when it came to snorkling)
especially the midnight skies, with millions of stars scattered in the deep navy sky.
there never was a moon.
we love driving the buggy!
its too many things to talk about, i think i'll just do a seperate entry,
when get the pictures, and when we finish our scrapebook! :)
those were the best days of my life.

straight to training at ccab on wednesday.
it was good. got to sweat out bintan fats
drills were good, i feel its helped my visioning so much.
home it was after. dead beat.

thursday was sickening.
i distinctively remember having booked my driving for that day .
only to find out it was actually last friday! WTF.
so i wasted $58.80 and what was very well,
the last avaliable slot before my test on may 7th.
GODDAM!
so went straight to the game.
cleared the locker at school with shimo and dee.
bused to turf.
i just sat in the bus in my sports bra, and staring at my disgusting fat tummy.
9-0 against ofs
i felt so useless in the game.
at the very most i only felt helpful when it came to defence.
bused back to school. meeting. shower. dinner at habibie with dee shimo and az.
chilli beef is hot and spicyyyy
bussed home. and sleeeep.

friday pretty much was dull,
a very vast difference from the coaching at poi ching i went to last week.
THEY ARE RASCALS! haha.
i thought the lfs kids were tough, geesh.
and they are 8,9,10.
these kids are 10 or 11.
anyway, cheryl came over.
so we drove out, with bird for some katong laksa lovin'!
mmmmmMMMmmm
after that it was starbucks coffee.
cheryl drives scary! i have pictures and videos that'll come up soon.
i drove around the neighbourhood after.
played fetch with dino.
i think my dogs dont play fetch, or maybe its the tennis balls?
chilled at home the whole way after.
naomi wanted to pop by, but it was late.
besides, quite scary. she dont know the place well and she was gonna cycle here.
but, the thought of it was lovely.

saturday!
no stl action for us this week. nanda next week.
chilled home the whole day.
met felix at simei, along with cal.
clarke quay it was.
met zam there.
bumped into eugene and david joe mama.
to our favourite bridge for a drink off my voda water.
not enough. so got beers.
the boys all left, except zam. darren came. we drank .
and to the club!!
studio 54 first. zomgodness packed.
walked around, wanted to go to smoove, bumped into joe mama.
and we all went lancing together.
he very cute la. and he sweats alot. like alot.
the rest went out for a drink for abit, we walked around,
pure, studio 54, ladaa ladaa.
back to smoove. the people came back.

picture time!

zam, steph, darren, calista.

(after effects of bintan sunburning)
saw chris there. in a suit. haha.
kinda bumped into this guy, i smiled at him,
he smiled back so goofily it was cute. ha.

(yes, i like goofy.)
and calistaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just HAD to insist i dance with him,
and nudge nudge me closer and closer each time,
till i got so close that it was unpolite to just ignore. grr.
then he bought me a beer. so i just thought, ok entertain him abit.
but HEY, who knew he'd be so nice.
so we started talking, alot.
jonathan, his name was, british bloke, minus the whole british accent.
(he claims theres no such thing)
the whole rugby vs football never ending conversation.
kinda feel bad i left the people i was with.
beer #2 after. right before smoove closed.
shifted our asses to the main arena.
cal hooked up with a 'french dude'
jon says he's a fake. HAHA.
but at least he lives here.
jon's here on a convention, till tuesday.
he's in the pharmasuitical line, and a self proclaimed massuse. ha!
left the place, back to mine.
jons just a sweetheart, in his own goofy way. i like.
the best part is, he didnt try to get into my pants.
he's just so polite. and secretly shy.
again the conversation about soccer vs rugby.
and the making fun of accents
the silent 'h's and 't's.
macs delivery for lunch. he practically swollowed the burger down!
like i looked away and look back at him, IT WAS GONE!
i couldnt finish mine, so he once again swollowed it down.
pretty much lazed around till he upped and left coz he has a bollywood night later.
jon's great. he makes me feel good about, me.
maybe i like playing tourguide, and that afterall i did chose the right course
or maybe, i just like taking care of people. haha.
or maybe, i just like people who make it easy to take care of them.

i think, i'm ready to snuff out the voice in my head,
and listen to my heart
and let people in once again.

day 1 of school,
here comes a very dark and peeling steph! :)

summer of 69

oh when i look back now,
the sun seem to last forever.
and if i have a choice,
i always want to be there.

those were the best days of my life.

i guess nothing can last forever.
so welcome back to un-greatness,
and the continuation of everything you left behind.
after awhile, you have to come to terms with things you convince yourself,
to forget.

bad bad dreams

so i had a terrible dream again.
this time of my youngest sister.
i dreamt that she was sick,
and even though she tried to show as much on the outside she wasn't,
it very muched showed.
and i felt a dagger through my heart.
she started off little less then healthy,
pale, with chapped and white lips,
almost short of breathe,
then slowlt and slowly,
just worse and more fragile,
with red and teary eyes,
nothing i can do to make things better.
yet she smiled to say she was alright,
even my mum did.
both of them tried to convience me everything was fine.
we we're suppose to go onto that 'eye of the city' ferry's wheel thing,
but we didn't.
and just suddenly, without anything said or done,
i knew,
that something bad was gonna happen.

getting ready to go out for today's game,
just got me, down.
she went to school early early in the morning.
i looked at her empty bed, unmade,
and i couldn't help but just, lay there.
her smell on the pillow, and i just, teared.
i see her everyday, yet i miss her so much.
its the little things we take for granted,
and its so ironic that i try so much to look for love,
that i didnt really take care and hold close the ones i have for those i already do.
it sucks that its the people that we care for or love the most,
that we show the least, or somehow, unconciously,
make less time and effort for.
till of corse, its too late.
and i'm sure these signs/dreams are not on repeat mode for nothing.
i just hope and desperately pray,
the ending isnt always, how it is.
not when i'm trying.
please.

coffee and cigarettes

once in a while,
you fall back down,
into the ruckhole that makes everything else seem,
too big and massive for you to see the sun shining.

i think there's something wrong with me.
physically.
i couldnt keep up at training yesterday,
even though it was simple, light stuff.
i just felt so short of breathes, and stiffness in my muscles.
like i was going to break any moment.

then i think there's something wrong with me.
emotionally.
i don't like being suffocated by strangers, being all around me,
so close to me.
thats why i hate zouk so much.
methephorically and literally,
i need my space.
suffocation made me breatheless in angst.

and ultimately, i think there's something wrong with me.
physically and emotionally.
i don't like it when my heart and head fights each other.
the i know versus the i want.
but you dont always get what you want, or need.
sometimes you feel like you're ready,
ready again to entrust your heart and well being with someone,
who'll treat it sacredly.
and take care of your heart, more so then of you.
and it just wears me down every moment,
thinking that its more of a make-belief that will never happen, versus reality.
yes, it's me.
and so i throw in the towel.
the one that's blood and tears stained.
how could you counter your smile, and the person that you are,
with your excuses and blatant ironies?
the only irony is, i want more.
and perhaps i always will.
what else can you want,
when basically, i have nothing?

its a thunderstorm now.
perfect,
to silence out the world from my 4 walls.
there's this deep hole at the bottom of my heart,
draining every ounce of who i am or was.
it'll never return.
and the pain just surges through my body,
like jolts of lightning.
somehow, i've forgotten how to cry.

mosing

mos saw steph twice this week.

thursday.
un-holy steph tried to recruit people to mos with her,
most of them actually had something related to do with church.
expect steph. nyehh.
muna came over, like about 10ish.
we drank my leftover chivas and the last 2 beers in my fridge.
over a game of winnie the pooh kids uno!
yes you read right.
and for some darned reason,
i kept losing. geesh.
left the house at about 1120,
crossing our fingers that we make it in time for the midnight free entry.
and when you need a cab the most, you can't get one i swear.
till this car that honked us as they went,
U turned and asked if we needed a lift,
and said they were heading there too.
like RIGHT. do we have STUPID on our foreheads?
so ya. a cab came in time.
and off we went.
met marli inside, with sujan and 2 of their friends.
the usual rounds of 5,10 and hai dai.
drink after drink.
marli dared me to wake this dude who was asleep on the other table.
he shooed me away like he was swatting flies, all with his eyes closed.
then he finally realised it wasn't his friend, so he woke up,
and apologised. HAHA.
chilled out, danced.
mr mayson asked for my number, yet again,
his famous pick up line,
"hey i've seen you somewhere before"
i hope muna had fun, alot of fun! ;)
studio 54 is my forever loveee.
halfway through the 2nd bottle, we retired there.
danced with this english dude. he's quite the hotness.
bald IS sexy. waaaay sexay!
it was just a short while though.
then home sweet home it was.
muna stayed the night.
we were hungry and called macs,
but IT NEVER CAME!!
basket.
later in the day we called again,
after downing breaded fish! woahh.
talk about getting off the diet.
but i had fun, spending time with muna.
i just hope she doesn't follow the way i deal with ache,
by drowning it, till i forget.
and soon, i'd forget myself.

saturday
it was the tpiranhas 10th anniversary bbq, at costa sands
started off with me getting ready for my eggmirer.
then i needed to s.o.s. shimona ;) haha.
tampines i went, then to pasir ris.
felt bad for makng the girls wait,
but the bus made us wait longer.
in the end we took the aloha one, and walked along the way.
we had an animated talk about our mos experience,
seeing how vie haha and ifa went on friday.
not surpirsingly they love 54 too! :)
so. the bbq was good.
i was the satay tenor, that retired a little prematurely
just to fill her belly.
the girls liked the pasta i made!
my first experiment with chicken and mushroom in cream sauce.
so nicole chua was my eggmirer!
and i gave her a painted/waxed egg, plus a kinder surprise,
AND and EGGplant ;)
shimo made me an easter bunny! haha!
she gave me a pair of bunny ears, in PURPLE, WOO!
and she got herself a white one.
awesome! thanks love!
no one's makes me more excited about surprises quite like you do!
props RAWKED!!
i swear aisyah and azlina are the most creative, out of the box people i know.
had a cake that ad specially ordered from sweet secrets,
with the pictures of the teams from the generations.
awesome.
the rest of the night was just chilling.
till i got 11ish msgs tempting me to mos.
so i headed home, and got ready the fastest i ever did.
but too bad, i passed midnight.
so midnight charge, PLUS cover charge.
met cal, steward and darren.
i went in first, and OMG was it packed!
miss loyal-goer of mos has never seen it like this, ever.
but it was a goood crowd.
house was massive. godskitchen ROCKS!
met suhaimi.
had drinks with him.
he sucks at haidai, i suck as 5,10.
he freakinn' got me a flamming lambo (was it?)
HAHA!
it was happy high.
danced all around.
from house, to 54, to smoove,
which was freaking packed then to house,
which was the last place opened.
to think i started off the night telling cal
"with this crowd, anyone'd be a loser if they don't hook up with at least one"
dang dang dang.
meet steph the avid mos goer, and loser. WAHH
but i did talk to quite a number of people.
from girls who were queing for drinks,
and this 2 aussie blokes.
then the smoove bouncers,
one of them who was sooo fierce,
and the other who i recognise from cheekys a long time back.
i told the fella the other bouncer very fierce,
from a frown cracked a giggle. hilarious.
and HEY, i got to cut queue :)
the bartender at smoove was handsome.
i told him so, and he ask me for my number.
ATTN: GIRLS.
new pick up line, for yourself.
after mos we sat outside,
and this 2 irish dudes came to talk to us.
one left, and we bumped into the other one again at macs.
who fell asleep with a piping hot coffee infront of him. wah.
cabbed home by myself. solo east sider.
thanks for getting me out guys, it was great.
thanks especially suhaimi! i had a great time,
and yes, one day i'll melbourne shuffle challenge you.
happy early birthday!



now for the start of the ugly side.
this is yet ANOTHER reason why i neverrr give my contact numbers to people i dont know.
so right after thursday's mos,
this fella added me on msn,
espn_2@hotmail.com
(obviously bogus, not to mention his nick was STARSPORTS)
he claimed i gave him my email since i didnt wanna give him my number.
JOHN, his name was. PFFT.
i sure as HELL DID NOT GIVE ANYTHING.
and he was just trying to convience me that i did,
and that i was drunk because i didnt remember.
moreso, the ONLY person i danced with, is an out-of-towner,
who doesnt speak with the 'derr ah wat la .. ..'
and NO if i dont want you to contact me, i WON'T GIVE YOU MY CONTACT,
not just my email persay.
stupid wank. and i narrowed down my suspects.
not that i give 2 flying fucks about WHO IT IS.
but moreso WHAT THE HELL HE/SHE's trying to do.
it doesn't and won't get to me,
this personal attacks that only reflect the ugliness of the other party,
and abit of green-eyes monsterness that they will NEVER hold a candle in my life,
be part of it, or even come close to smelling it?
get a life, whoever the loser you are.
unless you want to end up like somone who jumped off my third floor window,
currently now MY ROOM window,
and end up arrested a little later in the morning,
and on top of that,
find out that prior to your arrest i've already made reports about EMPTY THREATS
and bogus, annoymous letters with malicious, fabricated content,
which is chargable to 3 years imprisonment and/or fine.
its even EASIER to track online stuff for your information,
with something called the I.P. address.
so lay off.
yes, i'm starting to get bitchy.
well, if you've been to hell and back,
that's what usually happens to someone. :)
if i know you, and you know me, and you're probabely reading this,
I'M SURE OF IT,
i'm giving you a chance, to own up.
and then the rest will be swept under that already so filled up rug.
end

p.s. forgive me my potential/future boyfriend/husband,
if i'm a bitch in giving my contact number,
some people just makes it a bitch trying to be a normal person.
just coz they're not.

blue m&ms

training yesterday at ccab.
towns with ruby before that.
omg i spent $150.
on shoes, a top and a dress.
i wanna get black jeans, a bikini, a crumpler bag and havaianas!
argh!
chippy's cheesy chicken is addictive!
bumped into chris who was gonna get a haircut.
smart move! Ha.
ruby got her shoes for her internship.
she damnnnn long winded la! HAHA!
i felt sleepy after awhile.
then before we got on a bus, she went to buy a sandwhich at this place called toast.
OMG its to die for, and sinfully healthy!
171 to ccab is fast!

training was good.
it felt abit effortlessly perfect?
pai's back from australia!
kamie came down. rania too, though she left early for krabi.
pierre came down and helped us.
he's fun. the 2 on 1 drill was funny.
he was like you shitly have to score!
and tadah! he didnt score againt me,
so he kowtowed to me, literally! omg.
comical la.
i think its helped me with visions with gaps.
we did a drill where we had 3 lives to score.
my group was kamie, pierre and myself.
and we scored twice.
weeeeet.
ruby scored back after. kamie blamed my ankle.
can't wait for next week.
i hope they'll be more people! *fingers crossed*
after training we just chilled at the side of the pitch.
talking about singaporean lingo.
kamie had a message in typical singlish and she asked what it meant.
we tried different ways singaporeans would typically say it,
while trying to figure out what it meant,
in the end, we al got more confused then when we started off.
ruby and i showered and took our seperate buses.
i felt soooo accomplised when i made my own way to newton mrt on the bus,
and then trained home.
first time i not lost! :)
shioooooooook.
but i hate it when people stare at my big bag thinking its a bomb or something.
gheesh.
my training stuff was alot, boots, shoes and clothes,
plus shopping stuff. so gimme a break.
darn tired and heavy bag.
my sleep clock is so screwed up that i cant fall asleep till about 5!
wtfing hell.

was suppose to meet rachel to satisfy our laksa craving,
but we both were still rolling in bed at the time we suppose to meet
plus my throat was still bad.
then i whinedabout how i wished i had some guy bring me breakfast in bed.
scrambled eggs, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,
and we take turns feeding each other strawberries.
wee.
so yes, i woke up.
and made my own eggs and instand soup.
and kinda gulped half of my chocolate stash in no time.
i seem to still be out of shape.
arghhs.
and then, great news,
trainings cancelled.
i just might jog off the chocolates later.
oh well.
what a boring day, again.
i think felix is coming back today.
good friday's tomorrow.
let's see if the prodigal daughter returns.

i got this off ruby's blog.
http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp
its a link/quiz that asses your love language,
as in how you interprit love to be.
its abit of a repeatition of questions,
but i guess its comparisons?
whatever.
here's mine.
pretty, bleahh.


Profile Results

Score Love Language
6 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
3 Receiving of Gifts
6 Acts of Service
7 Physical Touch


How to interpret your Profile Score:

Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary lovelanguage. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of yourprimary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important toyou. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.The highest possible score for any language is 12.

Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think backover the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answerwill lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meetyour deepest need for emotional love.

dreams

omg i just have to post this.
i'm sorry if its disturbing.
it was to me.

i can't remember the settings.
but for 2 days already i've been having quite a bad throat.
so much so my tonsils hurt,
all through the night.
not to mention the sneezes.
and the DAMN MOSQUITO BUZZING AROUND MY EAR,
biting me on my forehead, nose and eyelid -_-"
anyway, yes.
i dreamt, that my tonsils fell out.
yes, you read right.
but somehow it swelled till damn big,
and there was a vein that i had to connect while trying to re-attach them,
at the same time bleeding from my throad.
it became, bigger then my tongie, about the size of a heart, or bigger.
in desperate attempt to put it back,
i just forced it to the back of my throat,
and struggled to keep it in place.
and the whole time, in the dream, i could FEEL it.
it was sick.
and then i couldnt breathe.
i dug my tonsils out again,
only to find blood clots, because the bleeding didnt stop.
so blood blobs kept coming out.
i felt SO SICK in my dream, and in reality.
ew.

after that another segment of dream,
i can't remember the situation,
but i remember the dreadful feeling,
of how i take my mum for granted.
its so disgusting how i did,
and how it made my mum feel,
like dark evil blood running though my veins that i want to slit my wrist,
and drain out,
all in attempt to silence my guilty conscience.
it's the second time i've had a dream like this.
what's it trying to tell me?
i don't know, yet.
but i hope nothing's gonna happen,
to her.

and last segment,
which is quite a repeatition of dreams i always have,
that people were coming after me,
and people i care about, specifically my family.
anyway, first it was this one guy,
who kept trying to get into our house,
to hurt me, or us.
we called the police, but as inefficient as they were, we waited forever.
then a whole group of 'his people' came to find us.
my family didnt see any seriousness when they didnt believe me to lock the windows,
like i told them.
and i guess that was how they came in.
so i just told everyone to HIDE or run
again, no one listened.
till they actually attacked someone.
bird. the youngest.
i felt my heartbreak.
shes the one person i can't bare to see get hurt,
apart from my mum.
so everyone scattered, i remember tiffy following me behind,
and we went up to my room on the third floor,
and crawled out the window onto the roof.
we jumped from neighbour's roofs to roofs,
and just hid as we waited for the police,
hoping that everyone else was safe.
we called again but they still havnt deployed people, geesh.
the whole thing ended with them getting apprehended,
and me asking everyone where they hid. haha!
one hid in the recycling bin!
but its always like that in my dreams
that people are always after me, with my family, or friends
and i'd ALWAYS get away,
only just after i get to see someone get hurt.

i hate my dreams.
they're so sinical.
or maybe its trying to tell me something?
but what.
my sandman is a saddistic man.
he can go and $&#% himself.

april fools weekend.

april fool's count - 5!

rachel, eugene, haha, alyssa and naomi! :)

but thank you hafizah who seemed greatly concerned,

and my dearest rachel who smsed me back in bed,

and naomi who called.

friday

cafe del ma!

the weather was quite bad.

when i met muna at 2, it was just cloudy

when we set foot on the beach,

it drizzled.

by the time we reached to surprise shimomo,

it poured! :(

hokiepokie ice cream rocks!

and an ang moh man walked into a closed door! :)

i should get an oscar for acting like i didnt see anything.

when the rain became lighter,

we headed to delma.

sat inside till the rain was completely gone.

omg the employees must have the greatest time working there.

like nothing much to do, can bunch around together.

i swear the only thing nice about the place is the ambience,

concept, brandname and music.

if i had the money i buy over the place and spruce it up.

HUR!

no wonder some people prefer km8.

anyway, we shifted like abt 4 times.

poolside was alright.

then we went to the outdoor barstools there.

muna said i looked thinner. YAY.

not like my sister who say fatter.

dont know la. still got work to do. i want my abs,

i want it NOW.

5 beers, new record at the time we're at del ma,

for a shorter hour-span as well.

i had a great time,

just chilling out, and talking nonsense with the occasional ab hurting laughter.

muna and i took turns falling off the stools. ha!

and some secrets shall remain. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

showered at the toilet there, and left sentosa.

i went to meet my favorite girls in town,

for a nice dindin and a movie.

i hate chosing where to eat at in town!

went to cheers and got a huge bottle of green tea to share with naomi for the movie.

freedom writers.

AWESOME SHOW. highly recommended.

after the show it was chilling out in town .

i hate how it gets, full of people.

starbucks chilling it was.

most of the time we were talking about things in our childhood.

it was kinda the same with naomi and myself,

the sisterhood nonsense.

3 seems to be the magic number,

only mine had a +1 who kinda acted like the enemy most of the time.

for rachel, it was different.

i never wondered what it was like growing up with boys,

being the only girl.

what i'd give to go back into time.

so carefree, so fun,

where all we needed were people we love around,

who'd run around with you everywhere

and threaten to tell mum every little wrong deed you've done.

funny how we grow up into our seperate lives,

and the only thing connecting us now,

is the one roof above our heads.

anywaysss, yes.

i love my time with the girls.

it was sweet reminace,

and an abs workout too.

NR 7 with rachel home.

saturday

no game today so i slept in

felt weird, so out of my schedule.

ate at home. did nothing much but wait for time to pass.

my oh my how i've wasted my holiday away this time,

not good! last holiday somemore.

grrr.

headed out to meet sam and the rest at mos.

of corse wardrobe crisis! ARGH!!!!! :(

so i just settled for this. plus a belt and my killer heals.

met sam there, and her bf,

then cal.

i look damn dark. steph, sam, cal.

went drinking along the river.

met cal's friends steward and darren

and the other 2 unknowns.

played chinaman abit.

and went into mos after we finished cal's tenquila.

met alyssa who was sloshed outside and we went in.

got lost from the rest for awhile,

then alas! reunited in the toilet.

then i met ash, who was also sloshed.

we took cal out coz she was goneeeee.

my my girl, chinaman no your man hear me!

went back in, to studio 54 we went.

and who else would i see,

but the clubber couple, marli and sujan! haha!

suprise!

alyssa had to leave early, morning got church.

my gawd, i'm surprised i still can spell the word. :)

met sam and the bf, and to smoove we went.

time passed like uber fast.

not long after, it was nearing closing time.

shared a cab with ash, dropped him off at his cousins just down the road from me.

mos was, fun.

took my mind off alot of things,

and brought it to others.

adrian came over after to stay the night,

soccer at bedok in the day which he didnt know how to get to.

and neither did i.

he kept stealing my pillows!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SEAN!!!!!!!!!

sunday

yet another one of those do nothing days.

my goodness what a pig i am.

after sending adrian out,

i just went online,

watching episode after episode of family guy.

and my weekly dose of extreme makeover:family edition. <3

during which most of my april fools fell victim.

muahahah.

fell asleep for abit,

woke up in time for dinner. oink.

i swear i'm chunking down more and more calories,

then my supposed diet.
NO GOOD.

league of extrodinary gentlemen, family guy, ugly betty, antm, x-chromosones, nutty professor on somemalaysian channel, fear factor and K.O.

WHAT A PIG STEPH.

instructions: repeat steps again for monday.

i need something.