bad bad dreams

so i had a terrible dream again.
this time of my youngest sister.
i dreamt that she was sick,
and even though she tried to show as much on the outside she wasn't,
it very muched showed.
and i felt a dagger through my heart.
she started off little less then healthy,
pale, with chapped and white lips,
almost short of breathe,
then slowlt and slowly,
just worse and more fragile,
with red and teary eyes,
nothing i can do to make things better.
yet she smiled to say she was alright,
even my mum did.
both of them tried to convience me everything was fine.
we we're suppose to go onto that 'eye of the city' ferry's wheel thing,
but we didn't.
and just suddenly, without anything said or done,
i knew,
that something bad was gonna happen.

getting ready to go out for today's game,
just got me, down.
she went to school early early in the morning.
i looked at her empty bed, unmade,
and i couldn't help but just, lay there.
her smell on the pillow, and i just, teared.
i see her everyday, yet i miss her so much.
its the little things we take for granted,
and its so ironic that i try so much to look for love,
that i didnt really take care and hold close the ones i have for those i already do.
it sucks that its the people that we care for or love the most,
that we show the least, or somehow, unconciously,
make less time and effort for.
till of corse, its too late.
and i'm sure these signs/dreams are not on repeat mode for nothing.
i just hope and desperately pray,
the ending isnt always, how it is.
not when i'm trying.
please.