dreams

omg i just have to post this.
i'm sorry if its disturbing.
it was to me.

i can't remember the settings.
but for 2 days already i've been having quite a bad throat.
so much so my tonsils hurt,
all through the night.
not to mention the sneezes.
and the DAMN MOSQUITO BUZZING AROUND MY EAR,
biting me on my forehead, nose and eyelid -_-"
anyway, yes.
i dreamt, that my tonsils fell out.
yes, you read right.
but somehow it swelled till damn big,
and there was a vein that i had to connect while trying to re-attach them,
at the same time bleeding from my throad.
it became, bigger then my tongie, about the size of a heart, or bigger.
in desperate attempt to put it back,
i just forced it to the back of my throat,
and struggled to keep it in place.
and the whole time, in the dream, i could FEEL it.
it was sick.
and then i couldnt breathe.
i dug my tonsils out again,
only to find blood clots, because the bleeding didnt stop.
so blood blobs kept coming out.
i felt SO SICK in my dream, and in reality.
ew.

after that another segment of dream,
i can't remember the situation,
but i remember the dreadful feeling,
of how i take my mum for granted.
its so disgusting how i did,
and how it made my mum feel,
like dark evil blood running though my veins that i want to slit my wrist,
and drain out,
all in attempt to silence my guilty conscience.
it's the second time i've had a dream like this.
what's it trying to tell me?
i don't know, yet.
but i hope nothing's gonna happen,
to her.

and last segment,
which is quite a repeatition of dreams i always have,
that people were coming after me,
and people i care about, specifically my family.
anyway, first it was this one guy,
who kept trying to get into our house,
to hurt me, or us.
we called the police, but as inefficient as they were, we waited forever.
then a whole group of 'his people' came to find us.
my family didnt see any seriousness when they didnt believe me to lock the windows,
like i told them.
and i guess that was how they came in.
so i just told everyone to HIDE or run
again, no one listened.
till they actually attacked someone.
bird. the youngest.
i felt my heartbreak.
shes the one person i can't bare to see get hurt,
apart from my mum.
so everyone scattered, i remember tiffy following me behind,
and we went up to my room on the third floor,
and crawled out the window onto the roof.
we jumped from neighbour's roofs to roofs,
and just hid as we waited for the police,
hoping that everyone else was safe.
we called again but they still havnt deployed people, geesh.
the whole thing ended with them getting apprehended,
and me asking everyone where they hid. haha!
one hid in the recycling bin!
but its always like that in my dreams
that people are always after me, with my family, or friends
and i'd ALWAYS get away,
only just after i get to see someone get hurt.

i hate my dreams.
they're so sinical.
or maybe its trying to tell me something?
but what.
my sandman is a saddistic man.
he can go and $&#% himself.