numb

i hate not being in control.
just one thing, after the next, after the next.
it just never ends

first, there is you.
and how i had no control over how i met you,
and how you just, went away.
i didnt know i could feel or think in this way, about you or anyone.
then again, i never saw it coming.
and how everything reminds me of you.
i really just need you right now.
to warm this cold cold world.
tell me everything is alright,
because right now, all i need is you.
oh what i'd give.

and now the new situation of which i have to make a descision,
which i don't wanna make.
its like asking me to chose between my arms or legs.
i can't decide. not when i want both.
everytime i think about it, i just want to break down and cry in helplessness.
its eating me up from within.
the one thing that i ever thought i may be doing right,
has to be wrong.
the ball's not in my court.
i dont like how things has turned out.
and i can't cope with the repercussions.

sometimes i wish you'd be on my side.
instead of being against me.
its just sad that you never believed in me,
or that i know you didnt even try.
i just need your affirmation,
maybe just from anyone,
but from you the most,
seeing how there wasnt a first from you.
i know its hard for you to cope,
but if you keep this up, its gonna be harder for the both of us.
you really don't know how much you're hurting me.



all of you.
its been awhile since i had a good cry,
and it feels like rebirth.
i just wanna curl up like a child,
turn my back to misery.
everything is just numb.
i wish 10millions miles was just next door.