12/12/12

Gosh the cobwebs on here...!!
And I cant believe its already December! Where has the year gone?

Well, for one lots have come and gone.

I have grown to learn the very expensive way that Elijah is a very accident prone puppy! Who knew a 1 year old pup could rack up a vet bill of over 2.5k, single paw-dedly! But not one day have I looked back on making that solo drive to Bunbury to meet him and the litter, and come back with an albino pup for my 24th birthday present to myself :) Yes, I am one of those people who LOVE my birthdays! Or just birthdays in general. So come 24th November, I organised a puppy day out to the rapids for dogs and humans alike! Leisure floating down the river in floats that took us 30minutes to blow up, manually! picnic on a rock island in the middle of the rapids, dogs running and swimming, clouds clearing the sky maing room for some sunshine, bliss!!

And through lots of relationship, past, present, gone and lost, I've realised, I havnt been myself of late! Even reading back on my posts and actually remembering the time and space I've wrote each post, and the freedom of my feelings and comfort in my physical presence. I was freely happy and happily free. Looking back, I've been in 2 relationships this year; one was destructive but tested every fibre of my being. Definately taught me life lessons and how I need to be strong and put myself first at best I can. No one should put up with someone who says they want to build a life with you, starting off by moving in together, because no matter how picture perfect people can make things out to sound, no one should put up with a cheating drunk, and thats the least to begin with. That, I've moved on from. Its easy to get over a bad relationship because you see the detrimantal path that's coming and you know you love yourself enough to know you deserve and can have a better life, people DO NOT CHANGE. Well, not after the countless chances. Granted it hurts, feelings dont just do away. But its nothing compared to having give up on a good relationship, one that actually worked. One that I thought, was IT for me. I'd daresay I was the happiest I've been in a long time, I didnt need much more. That comfort of having that home in someone, was all I needed and mattered at the end of the day, good or bad. And like a turn of a century, something just went, wrong. Almost instantaniously, the CTRL+ALT+DEL was hit, like nothing happened, mattered or existed. Its funny, out of a bad relationship its assured me of things I want,believe in and hold important in my life, but out of a good relationship that didnt work its actually made me question if things I believe in and hold value to actually exist in the first place?  

I need to do some soul searching, there has to be somethings I am not doing right. I've not done anything with ill intent but I always find myself back at square 1, and I don't like questioning myself on 'why or how havnt I been good enough'. And I know its not that, I just need to regain my stance and put trust in the faith that one day, it'll be my turn. That I will find my someone, and be their someone too. And that feeling, is worth holding on to every trying day.

But I am so, so blessed and grateful to the people that have been a part of my life over the last couple of months. Their love, laughter and support have been godsent and its to these people as well that I owe to find that state of freedom, love and happiness I once was in. I don't, and still don't believe that we arnt dealt with life situations that we cannot overcome.

So it is the 12/12/12, its been a long journey, and from here on out it'll only get better. I'm due home in less then 10 days and its high time to reconnect with loved ones who humble me daily, and also shove my face with good food WHO AM I KIDDING :). I cannot wait to be back home, leave my 2012 here, just reset my mind, body and soul, and welcome a better year in 2013. To greater things that are coming, and I guess its a bonus I am coming back to a job promotion! 2013 will be the year that doesnt slip me by.

To the places I will see, faces I will love, laughs I will treasure, food I will devour!
Bring on Christmas!! My favourite time of the year with the warm and fuzzy feeling deep down in my belly.

Live. Laugh. Love.