navy touch photos!

i finally managed to get hold of pictures from the navy games!!
not all yet though,
so check back! :)

day started off with witness of a horrific crash between several vehicles.
of corse i took note of the number plates :)
it was nearby, but a long-ass drive in to the place itself.
here goes!


my bus buddy.


boot up!

*followed by both teams having games, so no photos.
during the lunch break its when the cam whores come out!
GRAWL!*





steph, shimo, yam and deeee!


redbull gives you WINGSSS! (and the shits)


sunburnt steph and sunshine shimo.

then we decided the stand were too boring for us.
and so the real adventure beginsss!




official poster of the day,
and cockster steph just had to do that pose.
then we had fun with out two new bestfriends.


shimo: "hi miss, pleased to make your aquitence. do you mind several photos?"


aparently not! :)
but we more interested in the hunk!


ooooooooooooooh yeah!


pimpinnnnnn'!


now get down, literally.
LOL. explicit stuff there!
kids close your eyes!


aie yai captain!
tiko la he.


ok maybe he not tiko!
we too hot action for him,
he cannot take it and pang san on us.
ruby and i tried our best to re_erect him! LOL!
moving on!


we love balls.


yup, we do.


and we love jumping too! :)


or at least trying to.


ting! :)


ahhh, just pose also easierrrrrrr.
the people in the background prolly think we are nutcase bimbos.


yam and myself.


runaway extinct tortoise!
(i wish i was this slim! )


and so the picture madness concludes with us being locked up
in the mental asylum.

BACK TO THE GAMES!
we played each other
and it got down to the sudden death to determine who was the up winner and runner up.
in the end, it was the other team that prevailed,
with a finishing run by the miss legs nicole.
nonetheless, we had fun! :)
and it was a good day.
go home time!

my hottest face of the day!

on our plaque we won! LOL!

here mr lawrenz, we won this! WAH!
metamorphosis of a tortoise to a pig.

poor shimo sat on the floor,

no guy was gentlemanly enough to let her sit on the seat.

pigs.

since my com is temporarily up,

i can log online,

and since i can log online,

i'm getting past photos which i havnt gotten.

and so look for news of past entries update with photos promised.

that's all for now.

chao dude.

p.s. i've put up my birthday photos! go take a look see. its in january 2007 archibes

macbeth!

so today was mummy's bday.
she was at home in the day, she didnt go to work,
she went for a check up instead .
the only time i saw her was when she was napping.

after i came out of the shower, i realised she was going out too.
so we left the house together,
at least she wanted to, coz it was raining.
and she knew her daughter all too well,
in that she wouldnt want to carry an umbrella.
so she wanted to shelter her.
so sweet right.

and i still havnt wished her.

planned la.
like since she going out,
then when she come back we have a cake ready for her and celebrate.
so i went to meet naomi at bugis, rachel after .
naomi meet me always late.
we went to han's for food.
alfredo pasta for me please!
naomi had her super beed burger. ooooh.
she spread the chilli on the bun and pattie like bread and jam i swear.
we went to the library where we were going to meet rachel.
macbeth here we come!!
naomi's sister was macbeth and it was their play, thus us watching.
and and, while loitering around the lobby, this lady approached us,
and offered to give us tickets to titaodao.
(or however you spell it)
apparently she's a teacher and her students were suppose to come,
but somehow they didnt and she wanted to give the extra tickets to us.
$47 ones ah! shiok.
dont be surprised if tmr i go there and wait and see if i get free tickets again.
i wish! LOL.

so we went in. it felt more like an african play, initially.
i think that was the setting or theme or something.
costumes and stage was dressed up in that way,
even the drums.
but overall it was good.
hard to understand, so much so that at one scene i just, blanks and stoned out.
and snapped back to earth.
i cant imagine remembering thaaaat much lines, in that language.
theres this one actor, that really connects with the audience with eye contact,
so much so that it tickles me.
there was a scene where he repeatedly goes "take my hand"
and directed it to one of the front row audience, and goes softer each time he says it.
i giggled at the thought of her ReALLY standing up to take his hand ah.
that would have been something to look for.
then then, this same actor, when it was the time to kill macbeth part,
stood in front of me,
and i dont know, is it a tactic to focus on one person or what,
but when he recited his lines, it was like directed to me,
that he reallllllly wanted to kill me. i swolled hard. LOL .
then he did like, killing actions .
wah thanks .
bumbum pains! :S
and the most frequently used words :
1. MACBETH! *said with accent*
2. thy breaSSStsSSS *emphesis on the 's'*
3. thy bloooood
4. thy cousins


food at macd's after.
naomi gave rachel her word that she'll get ice cream for her.
rachel plonked the money down, she refused.

naomi: "i thought you meant ice cream on me."
steph: "no la, not on you. on the cone! "

*burst out laughing of the rachel and steph again. naomi and her signature stare to follow*
and claim we always bully her.
NO LA NEVER!
just that little silly silly things you do and say here and there,
that makes us have our daily ab's exercise.
love you doll!

after that rushed home coz i heard mum was already on her way.
by the time i got home, she not surprised already la.
so much for not wishing her today and surprising her.
but tmr we taking her to dinner.
(oh no, food again! :( )
still havnt really decided on where.
sigh .

i rather enjoyed today, with people i love.
just for that one, who wouldnt let me know if he's staying, or going.
dear rachel, next time your house rain, call starfunny.
dear naomi, yes, you are special!
and i love you both many much.
like a fat kid love cake.


goodnight world.

what does your sign say.

.:CAPRICORN:.
The passioate Lover

Love to bust. Nice.
Sassy. Intelligent.
Sexy. Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser.
Loves being in long relationships.
Great talker.
Always gets what he or she wants.
BY FAR the BEST in BED.
Very sexy. Coolest.
Loves to own Gemini's in sports.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke.
Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget.
Smart.


** for full list, find meeeee.

its over, not!

and so its officially over.
the academic year of 06/07.
gonna be a final year student next time school starts.
and what the hell am i going to do after i graduate?!?!!

oh well, thats another thing to think about.

today is moody day.
i don't know what's wrong with me,
and whats that lurking pre-occupation on my mind,
that i can't seem to chake off, or figure out what is it.
i just know, its eating me up from inside.

the papers flew by, i feel like i'm not using my brain cells.
no i'm not dumb, neither am i genius.
everything just felt, blank.
WHAT IS WITH THE MOODY DAY?!

after the 9pm mice paper,
it was the sweet freedom .
of corse the usual indecisive people couldnt decide to go where,
so i had dinner with my favourite girls,
at my homie's place, mr habibie!
from far far away he wave at me, naomi got scared! LOL.
stingray, kang kang, and hotplate beef was shiok.
the drink auntie talk to me in malay i talk back to her in chinese.
i terror or what :)
chatted after in what to do during the holidays and we came up with the nonsense,
that rachel needed to poop i needed to pee.
and together it makes, poop-pee-poop-pee.
and popeye (thought it doesnt make much sense)
then naomi say NO LA ITS pooo-eeee
and steph the bitch went
IS IT LIKE POOOOII SAN?
rachel and steph burst out laughing to a stiffed face naomi,
staring at the goofballs like it wasnt funny
though she knew it was and was about to laugh too,
and then rachel said stummy and she giggled abit.
ah, i can't wait for the holidays with these bum bums.
bali pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.

cabbed home coz i reaaaaaly couldnt hold my bladder,
my stamina no bladder, right.
home, and then realised i still have to plan mum's birthday.
and i've got no clues.

and sometimes i wish people would give me a break.
give me a hug to show they miss me and that i should come back to earth,
versus a sister whos raising her voice coz mum's birthday is still unplanned,
and she has not even thought of what to do also.
or or, when i just come online and before i can even do anything,
i just a million pop up jamming my not very working laptop
and demanding to know WHY I'M LIKE THAT .

i dont want to blame my moody day,
but i can't help that i'm like that.
i dont like how you suffocate my space,
and just push in my face that i should be something or someway else.
it is that you'd value pretense for that moment's gratification.
don't talk down to me, you just remind me of the ugly past i once had.
maybe there is something wrong with me,
allowing bad experiences to cripple me,
and let my emotions and moody dead-headedness cloud my heart.
but i just need a break!
or maybe once again, its just me.



so much for the freeeedomness of the end of exams.

don't stop

and what a sweetheart.
my ice cream delivery man surprise!
yes, the fat steph was pleased and happy millions.
its one of those many reasons whyyyyyyyyyyy.

drivingggggggggggg test.

30 points!!!!!
20 more and i pass. HAHA!
wah mad accumulation of points ah.
6 points for insufficient acceleration, TWICE.
and the killer,
6 points for failing to slow down during road hazzard, TWICE.
and and and, my road hazzard,
IS THE STATIONERY CARS AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!
wah THANKS .
plus 2 points steer while stationery when doing parking,
i only got those points from circuit.
4 points for driving in wrong lane after right turn,
no one want to give way to me go left lane, XIAL.
AND AND,
my lane changing good, plus my blindspots thing never kena.
wah thanks .
tmr go book another date.
XIALLLLLLLL so much more to spend,
renewing enrolment, PDL, test date, lessons .
cheeeeeeee bai.
fail already suddenly i felt so sleeeeepy.
just wanted to go home, skip the next paper, and stuff my face with ben and jerry's.
and i just wanted, quiet.

accounts paper was swell,
quite confident about it.
that is of corse my calculations not funny funny one,
but formulas and concepts i guess i can apply.
i think thats the good thing about having my tp on the same day,
it'll helped pushed me to study more then i normally lazily would.
plus it was good thrill :)
lodging dont say la, FOS.
whatever can be studied for, DIDN'T come out.
thanks big guy.
come inside the room with a grin.
quite cute la, but stillllllllll.
OPERA really PMS la.

came home, sleeeeeeeeeeeept.
after the tyra banks show,
where i found out that ne-yo was the one who wrote beyounce's irreplacible song.
AND, to the left means,
that the fella's stuff is already packed up to the left,
and the rest is her stufff. waaaah
called rachel to tell her, but she also was watching the showw.
coolios.
just woke up from my longer then normal nap,
and i'm trying to remain quite in my room.
coz mummy came back from malaysia,
and and, i forgot to buy the envelopes she needed.
:
so just quitely sit here till she sleeeeps.
then no pester me for it :)
sorrrrry la.



you could have just called.
perhaps i could have done with it.
yes, i could have done with it,
but no.
i dont like the feeling that i'm reliaing on someone emotionally,
without even realising it.
until things go less then expected,
and somehow i end up pushing more people away.
grawl. i neeeeeeeeeed a hug.
and ICE CREAAAAAAAAAm.

future sex/love sounds

i think i need rehab from justin timberlake's cd.
its just frigggin awesome.
talented hot piece of ass there.

tmr marks the start of the exams,
and my now-quite-dreaded driving test.
i hope it goes well, accounts too.

gonna go onnnnnnnnnne last paper before turning in.
and hopefully dream formulas out and what not. grawl .




and lately, you're all that's on my mind.
who would have thought.
underneath it all, i feel like i already know you,
long before i met you.
its like an addiction,
somersaults of uncertainties and bliss.
nothing's ever promised tomorrow.

i is come back .

i'm backkkkkkkkkkk
from being internetless. thus the less then average postingss.
exams are next week (or in 2 days rather)
sheesh.

as you can see i'm in the process of changing skin.
but my itchy fingers clicked something wrong.
so it's STUPID now.
doesnt help that i am IT dumb. yikes.

after exams, i'll fix it.
ya ok, bye.



















under the facade,
theres all that perfection dying to burst free.
if only the world could see.
and who would have thought.

crasey

sooo many many dejavus from the navys.
its like almost last month since we played, last yr.
heh!

i would say that things might not have gone our way,
and its no point for any rantings now.
things happen for a reason,
and its just how we make the best of reasons, or lessons.
the best is always yet to come.

i know i didnt put in my best, i don't like to say i couldnt,
just because of my foot.
the pain killers did help, lucky i had a stash from my stitches last time.
but theres only so much 11 painkillers can do.
and so much more that steph could.

ANYWAYS. i still have yet to plugg in my mini fridge.
i have NOTHING to put in.
when i have my room warming i think i'll just stock up on beer and caprisonne. :)

quite a dark day.
cranky cranky cranky.
weird i had a dream of you
i cant multitask.
i jinx the pickpocketter of my $24 bad bad menstral cramps!
(kidding la abang zul)
and crase makes me crasyy.

can we go eat now PLEASE>!?!?!?!

bad

i knew this was the inevitable.
so here it is, the first low of my year.

my phone's spoilt.
not that im surprised.

my foot's aching in the weirdest way.
from an awkward position landing whatever.
its getting to me.
especially since i feel like i've been getting my game form back.
argh.
i'm gonna play tmr's navys.
so pleaseeee by some miracle get better.
get fucking better.
let's see if god's being nasty or nice.

and with that i dont know if i have to push back my driving.
ARGH.
bad enough that i plan to rush through my accounts to go for my TP.
that now i may have to push it back altogether.
maybe god's taking preventive measures of me NOT to rush my accounts.
ARGH.
i hate it, that if he's right.

and worse.
i hate that mum and dad, don't care.

who's excited for valentines say woo woo.








*crickets chirping*

happie bday.

so the birthday went swell. let's see.

thursday was the start of open house.
pathetic tent they gave us to share with 7 other cca grps.
so being smart and resourceful, we set up our own make shift spot,
and tied our umbrella up :)
shimo, ruby and i of corse, had fun of our own


moo.

moo moo.

moo moo mooo.

our imitations of the mooooos.

YAY! moooooooooo.


the 3 ah-moo-goes.

three heads are better then one.

shimo and steph

ooooh ungku. yummmy.

after that was the NTU friendly.
we could have done better, but not allowing any try had to be the highlight.
the girls got me a cake after!! :)

oh yeah, angie's back form the land of the roos!

sadistic child.

aftermath of the muddy feild. and they let me cut the cake. LOL

hafizah hamzah is just a great contrast (in terms of body size)

depressinggggg steph very much.

there wasnt even a cake fight

though we look very much like victims of it.

then joined the oldies and a few girls at habibie
after that chillax at angin laut playground.
and yes, i was amazingly amazed to who was the first to wish me.
amplifies my belief of 'things mean morewhen they are unexpected or not asked for.'
and i'm glad somehow i have these people in my life.

friday 19th january.
arrived to school early. met alyssa and gave her the pug she wanted.
first birthday hug!
shimo came. and that girl is sweetness.
she got me a CUPCAKE! and a rainbow twirly flower!
wee.
deedee later got me a b'day ice cream.
being wished was, nice.
and the singapore sligners coming, was NICE.
boy are they tall.
and one of them joined us for our fun touch.
i faked and he bought, so i outran him. LOL .
quite cool la ha.
then we went on to our mission possible. :)
oh what a fun fun fun day.
felix came, kinda to make sure i went home by 4.
caught the htm skit before leaving.
verdict: my sister isnt acting, that is just typically, her.
only those who caught the skit will know what im taling abt, heh.

apparently ifa loves moomoos too. heh heh.

felix was surprised that i was on time.
headed to town and walked a loooong bit.
i didnt know where we were heading. he kept saying here and there
and stopping at weird places, even hinted botanical gardens (wtf)
finallllly. dan ryans. WEE!
and i saw the 2 cutest kids ever. the lil girl's like the baby from monsters inc.
darn cute.
rachel and naomi came later.
naomi ordered everything and then asked what we wanted.
she's a closet rabbit, eating all the greens and forcing us to.
drawing on the paper was fun ;)

"hug meeeee, its my birthday"

i drew this for rachel, from across the table .

cool aie.

felix and i

ate and ate and tim came later.
there was a hot guy, but we came to the clever conclusion that he was gay.

toilet lighting is alllllwaaay best for photos.

back from the ladies and they brought 2 cakes.
and ALL the staff sang happy b'day ah.
embarassing.

but the cake was good.
the boys devoured it.

that was it for us at dan ryan's

felix looks funnily cute in this picture,

timo looks hemsem.

naomi and i outside.

they drew on the balloon for me! :)

(which in the end, we played with the hellium)

andddd, off to mos we went.
drinking before at our london bridge.

the view from where we were.

my favourite girls.

naomi, stephanie, and rachely

bumped into raelene inside.
and a few other people.

felix was smashed.

and asleep on the lilipad outside.

haha!

and we?

we just love taking pictures :)

overall, it was a great bday.
i didnt really know what i was gonna do, and i didnt really care.
the people who were there,
made everything, everything.
and i could have not been more grateful.
i'm truly blessed.

here's a few numbers:
cake count - 6 (incl. deedee's ben&jerry's!)
age - 19!
msgs - 54
wishes - 54 plus aplenty
pple i love - 10X90X4 square.

hafizah and steph at ps, days later.

just wanted to post this picture. heh heh.

last days of 18th.

things been going swell.
i have so many things that make me smile everyday.
or rather, so many people.
and its some strange miracle that i'm starting to see things in a brighter light.
from people who use to be difficult, and otherwise undesirable situations
its all sugarcoated now.
yes, i feel like a better person.
could it be? i'm starting to love me?
wee!

mos on sat was terror.
from drinking in the cab, to brewerks to 5-10 with whisky lovers and the hot dancers.
somehow my feng sui that day bad, i keep losing 5-10 and drinking galons.
salivating in my mouth i swear!
weee! fun hor rachel :)
pictures up soon!

did i mention i'm shifting?
yes, i'm moving.
room. LOL
one floor up.
so the loft is MINE mine MINE .
its gonna be, wicked!
the best touch is my leopard bedsheets (thanks lix!)
having curtain woes. and where to chuck the huge cupboard.
if i find a place, i have so much room for extras.
like a side table, and sofa.
things left to do:
* get a room phone.
* CURTAINS (colour suggestions?)
* CD player
* DVD player for mums room so i can overtake the current one.
* Fabric dye for the 2 lazy boy chairs (thinking bloodshot red)
* DISCO BALL!
* side table
* Lava lamp bulb
* Side table lamp

alrights, its quite alot left.
by this weekend i should be moved.
at least the last FM project would be out of the way by then .
open house will be from thurs to sat.
then friendly with ntu on thurs.
ok la, open house last yr quite fun, hope this yr its the same.
dear coach just flew to South Africa last night.
i'm sure she'll be having the time of her life.
i hope she does! and bring me back many many diamonds changaling!

anyway, yesterday was the ride of my life.
for the first time in quite a long time i revisited my past.
and actually had a open heart to heart talk.
quite good. we came to the conclusion that boys, suck.
and are stooooopid.
so much so that it leaves things abrupt ends or the "its too late"
with all my "what ifs" being dashed.
and some are prolly as, if not more, bitchy then girls.
so is steph.
and so i deprived haha of her nap on the way to tp.
and answer to her "can i ask you" questions.
but yes, i did clear up alot of her doubts and hearsays.
and shared with her my lurid quite-recent-past.
AND, it felt good.
i realise after telling her my feelings and my life's why, how and why nots,
that if i didnt personally know myself,
i'd come off as bitchy and, well, BITCHY.
so after then, i wasnt so surprised as to why some people actually think of me in that way.
and dislike me, avoid me, have that little glare in their eyes when they speak to me.
or even rumors, or gossip about me, even without knowing the whole truth.
of corse i do feel the pinch in my heart,
but i dont really care.
just so long as i know who i keep close to my heart,
and know who will take care of mine.
perhaps there are many situations i could have handled better,
and many people who i could have treated dearer.
but i guess i have my reasons.
and sometimes reasons dont have to make so much sense,
and i'm not expecting many to understand.
especially when your dealing with a hyper-sensitive, constantly thinking, paranoid steph.
sometimes i dont understand me!
there must be something wrong with me
bcoz somehow i keep pushing people away,
people who try to show they care for me.
or at least i can see or feel them drift away
inevitably, i know its my fault.

but my lesson learnt, and still learning,
is that i always never know what i REALLY have.
and it'll eventually break my heart to realise how much its gone or taken away,
but perhaps not as much as how it does to the people involved first.
and that'll always be my life's regret.
i just wish i could deal with my insecurity
and my complexity of overthinking that feeds my demon named 'paranoia'
i really should learn how to put into words and have the courage to let people know,
how much they've shaped me, and my life and perspective of everything.
and as you can see, the overthinking has started.
but hafizah hamzah, i'm glad we could talk.
and I'M STILL IN SHOCK HOW MUCH YOU READ MY MIND,
especially with, you know what.
at least you're one person who bothers to get to know me,
and fess up on little snipits of ugliness between us in the pas.t.
that's the GREATEST thing anyone can do for me.
and for that my friend, i love you.
(so pls stop farting at me.)

turning 19 is like a chore!
its such an ugly number
no offence to all the 19 year oldies tho'
not looking forward to it,
not not looking forward to it. heh.
nothing beats being 18 la.

plans backed to back for the coming weeks.
these days seem so much better.
without load on my back,
somehow i could almost feel afloat.
and i realise what that load is.
its the heavy sacks of expectations;
out of people, situations, perfections, and out of myself.
for the longest time it feels like ive lost myself.
so now that i feel like im recollecting bits of me,
i hope it keeps up, or gets better.

the rainbow's never been bolder.
(but i'm still looking for the pot of gold, i want buy car! heh)
and there's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things to love.
so to that SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things.
i fucking love you.
and don't NO ONE dare rain on my parade!
join it ;)

holla 2007!

someone once told me,
"love isnt about finding the perfect person, but perfecting the love we show others"
or something like that .
this holidays, its just made me realise,
that there isnt really any perfect person
no matter how much we lie to ourselves into thinking we are perfect,
or want perfect.

its just how much we are willing to bend
and look past the not so perfect things about people who complete our lives,
and make it perfect in ways we fail to see.

and so i've learnt,
i'm not as ready as i think, for love.
or relationships.
or perhaps it is fear, of let downs and dissapointments
coz i've definately had my share of it.
and its just lonliness that makes me go down the wrong road one time too many.
or just the optimism that i could achieve something great,
great enough to fill the viod in my life
which i didnt know ive lost.

looking through my old diaries, makes me realise,
how colourful i was
and now i'm just the blank canvas,
thirsty for paint, dusty from being left aside.

i'm in a mess.
my life is.
ive lost hold of the reins, its gone crazy.
and sometimes, i didnt create the mess sadly,
ive just got to clean it up if i want good things for myself.

and ive never realy stopped to see,
how much how many many people love me.
just perhaps in ways ive never expected,
yet of corse ive pushed them away.

i've just developed a bubblewrap as my defense mechanism.
life a hedgehog that puffs up when it senses danger.
but im doing well, coping with myself for so long.
and im more them blessed to have certain people in my life.

i once told a girl, who thought she lost her atm card,
(only to find out 2 days later that it fell into an umbrella)
that everything happens for a reason,
you just dont understand or see it yet.
like how if you lose $10, someone else picks it up,
chances are the person needs it more then you, kinda.
the great unknowns of how god works his magic.
but yes, people lose things for a reason.
mine was, to find greater things,
things that if i just hid in my shell would never find.

and yes, i've been blessed.
i hope this year would be a better one,
for me, those i love and who love me.
with a better year, with better dreams, wishes and aspirations.
2007, here i come.
2006 is history, so is misery and the hurtful truth.

once again, you've done it.
for one last timeeeeee.